Today was the day I look forward to each year.
The day I got pictures of you in the mail and an update letter from your parents.
This day, as is every year, was one of the best days.
I love seeing how much you grow each year, seeing how much you look like your brother, and reading how well you are doing in life.
This year was better than the past eight year though. For this year I saw a little bit of myself in your face.
I have always struggled seeing myself in you, especially when my friends point out that you look just like me. Finally, this year, I saw a small glimpse of myself. This year, as well, your brother saw himself in you.
As much as I can't wait until we meet again, your brother can't wait to meet your either.
You both met the day you were born. You, just a few hours old, and your brother, a few days shy of turning 19 months old.
There are days your brother likes talking about having a sister. Then, there are days it breaks his heart. I keep telling him "She will come back into your life when the time is right, until then just love her from afar."
I keep trying to write you a letter. To tell you how much I love you. Hard as I try, I can't seem to do it. Next to placing you with your parents writing you a letter is one of the hardest things I could ever do.
I always have so many things to say, but when I sit to put pen to paper everything leaves my mind.
Just know, no matter what, you are always in my heart, my mind, my spirit, and my soul.
I will end this now with a poem your parents included in the letter they sent me
Legacy of an adopted child
(by unknown)
Once there were two women
Who never knew each other.
One you do not remember,
The other you call mother.
Two different lives
Shaped to make yours one.
Once became your guiding star,
The other became your sun.
The first gave you life
And the second taught you to live it.
The first gave you a need for love
And the second was there to give it.
One gave you a nationality,
The other gave you a name.
One gave you a seed of talent,
The other gave you aim.
One gave you emotions,
The other calmed your fears.
One saw your first sweet smile,
The other dried your tears.
One gave you up ---
It was all that she could do.
The other prayed for a child
And God led her straight to you.
And now you ask me
Through your tears,
The age-old question
Through the years:
Heredity or environment
Which are you the product of?
Neither, my darling --- neither,
Just two different kinds of love.