What am I afraid of? Shit, it might be easier if I said what I wasn't afraid of!
I have normal things that I am afraid of, snakes, spiders, almost all bugs, raccoons, heights, large bodies of water, elevators, etc.
I have things that really scare me, and actually impede on my daily living, driving on the high way when it is raining (not because I can't, but because of the other drivers that forget, or ignore, that it is raining) and driving when it snows or has the possibility of snow or ice. The snow one really impacts my life. I can't drive when there is snow or the possibility of snow or ice and will have a panic attack at the thought of it. When I was 18 my brother took a turn in the snow too quickly and the car almost spun off a bridge. I was still able to drive in winter for a while after that, but then living in Arizona for 2 winters and not having to deal with snow and ice anymore, I came home to discover that I seriously freak out over the idea of driving in the winter. I've actually refused to look for work once it hit August because I knew it was just a few months away from winter.
I have normal human fears, losing a loved one, never succeeding the way I imagined, not being able to provide for my family, dying alone, never feeling true love from a partner, losing my home to a fire, my child being kidnapped, being stranded with no way to call for help, etc.
The thing is, my fears, while some are small and insignificant, are very real for me. My depression and anxiety can make them worse, and it has. It's something I have struggled with over half of my life. On top of anxiety I also have social anxiety. That makes it very hard for me to go out in public to new places and meet new people. There have been times that it was too bad that I actually refused to leave the house unless I had someone with me. I would have plans to go somewhere new to eat or shop, then drive all the way there, and just sit in my car and have an anxiety attack until I left and went home. If I am going somewhere I have been before, but there are large crowds, I try to get out of there as quickly as possible. If I have a friend or family member with me then it is easier to stay and do what I went for, bu I am stuck to that persons hip the entire time. I've actually ruined relationships with potential boyfriends because of that. I tend to be attracted to social butterflies and they just can't understand my reactions and feelings to things and places they thrive with. Then they just stop talking to me.
So, it would be easier to just list what I am not afraid of, lol. That is a list for another day though.
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