Sunday, July 29, 2012

I want to turn back the clock sometimes

As my sons 8th birthday was getting closer I found myself thinking a lot about when he was a baby and how I couldn't wait for him to get older so we could do more things together, about how I miss him being little and tiny to where I could carry him all day if I wanted to, and how scared and nervous I am for the future. My son was 8.9lbs when he was born and he just looked so tiny to me. I never thought that I could love someone as much as I could love him just within seconds of meeting him for the first time. He seemed to grow before my very eyes.
 Within 4 1/2 months he was starting to crawl. It was so cute because until he really got the hang of it he did what I call a bunny hop. He would put his arms as far in front of him as he could, then he would rock back and forth, and after a few rocks he would shoot his legs up towards his arms. He only did that for about three weeks then i was having to chase him through the entire house! I remember when my grandmother was in the hospital dying I would have my son downstairs in the lobby by the cafe. He hated being in his stroller so I would put him down on the carpet by the fountain and let him crawl around. He was all over the place! I would try to stick the stroller in front of him to stop him from going somewhere and that is when I noticed that he would follow the stroller. So i would push the stroller where I wanted him to go and he would follow it, like a puppy following the puppy treats. There was a group of little old ladies down where I was selling this beautiful doll house they made to raise money for the cancer patients. They were giggling like little school girls watching my son chase after his stroller.
A few months later when he was 8 months old he was trying to take his first steps. He would hold onto the couch and walk the length of the couch. Then when he got to the end of the couch, he would look around to see if he could grab onto anything, when he saw nothing to grab onto he would plop on his butt and crawl around for a bit then go back to the couch and start the process all over again. Then one day I was laying on the couch and he crawled up to where my head was, pulled himself up, walked half the length of the couch, looked towards my dad who was about 4 feet away from the end of the couch, let go and started walking. He made it 6 feet before he toppled over. Not even a week later he was walking like he was a pro! He didn't even try to master walking a little more before he started running. He would run at a dead run to every piece of furniture in the house, stop, turn, and run to the next spot!
I don't remember when he started talking, but it was early. I remember my brother (19 months younger than me) would go up to my son, crouch down to his level, and go "Say 'boobies!'" My brother was determined to have my sons first word be boobies. It wasn't his first word, but every time my brother would do that my son would giggle like his Uncle was the most hilarious person in the world!
I remember his first day of preschool like it was yesterday. My little booger was in nice, clean, new clothes, and wearing his tiny spider-man book bag. He insisted on having a book bag because all the big kids wore them, so I got him a mini one and perfect for his little 4 year old body. So we walked out to the bus stop where the other kids would catch the bus and we waited. First came the middle school bus, then the grade school bus, and last was the Head Start bus. He got on the bus like he had done it before. I was watching my baby turn into a little man right in front of me! The bus assistant showed him which seat would be his and helped him strap in to the harness in his seat. My son looked out the window with a big smile on his face and waved goodbye. I told myself I was not going to cry when he got on the bus. I was too strong to cry when he got on the bus. And I didn't cry when he got on the bus, but you bet your ass as soon as I saw the bus pull away the tears started coming. I walked back inside and my mom laughed and called me a wussy. Who is she kidding, she cried when me and my brother started school for the first time! I cried the first day of Kindergarten, First Grade, and Second Grade. You can put money on me crying his first day of Third grade too!
My son is not a little boy anymore. He is a little man. He is all of 4'4'' tall and getting ready to grow again. In my eyes he will always be that little boy waiting for his preschool bus with a big toothy grin on his face, I don't care if he is 30 he will always be that little boy.
18 months old

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