Tiana's World: Is a career change in my future?

As I have mentioned in a previous post, I am going to school to be a Juvenile Probation Officer. That is something I have wanted to do since I was 17. Yet, after commenting on posts about 'why women stay in abusive relationships' it got me thinking. Could I work as an advocate for abused women? I personally know what it is like staying in an abusive relationship (another previous post), I understand how hard it is to leave, I know that by the time you open your eyes to see what you are in it is scary to leave. I know there are people out there that do not see how you can stay if you are being abused. It is easier said than done to leave. I found a few statistics for you to look at. And at the end of this I will post links to where I found this information.

As a victim myself, from a husband, a boyfriend, and an Aunt, I take this stuff very seriously. I could not be more grateful for the people I met along my journey to recovering from this, and those that went out of their way to help me. I always wondered if I would be able to help other women the way I was helped. I am not sure I would have been able to move past what I went through if it was not for the simple fact that I had someone to talk to and I met other women that had been through what I had been through and worse. Maybe I should consider a career change. It is something I am going to have to really think about.

1.3 BILLION women suffer from Domestic Abuse
2 out of 3 female victims were related to or knew their attacker
28% of attacks on women are by husband or boyfriend/ 5% by family members
Since 1996 National Domestic Violence Hotline has received 700,000 calls per year for help.
503,485 women are stalked by an intimate partner per year
30-60% of family domestic violence happens in a household with children
1/3 of women, that is about 31%, report physical or sexual abuse by husband or boyfriend at some point in their life
75% of the calls to the local authority for help or to intervene are for help AFTER they leave their attacker
From 1983-1991 Domestic Violence reports increased 117%
22% of divorces are due to Domestic Violence
Women who manage leave are at a 75% greater risk of severe injury or death
A woman will leave 12 times and go back before they finally leave. Unfortunately some of those women will not live to reclaim their lives.
Each year results in 100,000 days hospitalized, 30,000 ER visits, and 40,000 Dr visits due to Domestic Violence
Children who witness Domestic Violence are at greater risk of becoming violent themselves and boys are TWICE as likely

Economic or financial abuse: A subtle form of emotional abuse (the type of abuse I suffered)

Remember, an abuser’s goal is to control you, and he or she will frequently use money to do so. Economic or financial abuse includes:

Rigidly controlling your finances.
Withholding money or credit cards.
Making you account for every penny you spend.
Withholding basic necessities (food, clothes, medications, shelter).

Restricting you to an allowance.
Preventing you from working or choosing your own career.
Sabotaging your job (making you miss work, calling constantly).
Stealing from you or taking your money.

**Abusers are able to control their behavior—they do it all the time.**

Abusers pick and choose whom to abuse. They don’t insult, threaten, or assault everyone in their life who gives them grief. Usually, they save their abuse for the people closest to them, the ones they claim to love.
Abusers carefully choose when and where to abuse. They control themselves until no one else is around to see their abusive behavior. They may act like everything is fine in public, but lash out instantly as soon as you’re alone.
Abusers are able to stop their abusive behavior when it benefits them. Most abusers are not out of control. In fact, they’re able to immediately stop their abusive behavior when it’s to their advantage to do so (for example, when the police show up or their boss calls).
Violent abusers usually direct their blows where they won’t show. Rather than acting out in a mindless rage, many physically violent abusers carefully aim their kicks and punches where the bruises and marks won’t show.

Recognizing the warning signs of domestic violence and abuse

It's impossible to know with certainty what goes on behind closed doors, but there are some telltale signs and symptoms of emotional abuse and domestic violence. If you witness any warning signs of abuse in a friend, family member, or co-worker, take them very seriously.

General warning signs of domestic abuse

People who are being abused may:

Seem afraid or anxious to please their partner.
Go along with everything their partner says and does.
Check in often with their partner to report where they are and what they’re doing.
Receive frequent, harassing phone calls from their partner.
Talk about their partner’s temper, jealousy, or possessiveness.

Warning signs of physical violence

People who are being physically abused may:

Have frequent injuries, with the excuse of “accidents.”
Frequently miss work, school, or social occasions, without explanation.
Dress in clothing designed to hide bruises or scars (e.g. wearing long sleeves in the summer or sunglasses indoors).

Warning signs of isolation

People who are being isolated by their abuser may:

Be restricted from seeing family and friends.
Rarely go out in public without their partner.
Have limited access to money, credit cards, or the car.

The psychological warning signs of abuse

People who are being abused may:

Have very low self-esteem, even if they used to be confident.
Show major personality changes (e.g. an outgoing person becomes withdrawn).
Be depressed, anxious, or suicidal.

Speak up if you suspect domestic violence or abuse

If you suspect that someone you know is being abused, speak up! If you’re hesitating—telling yourself that it’s none of your business, you might be wrong, or the person might not want to talk about it—keep in mind that expressing your concern will let the person know that you care and may even save his or her life.