Wait a minute, I want another child.

     When I was pregnant with my daughter I did NOT want to be pregnant again. Or ever again for that matter. I had a horrible delivery with my son, I was not wanting to go through that again. I have to have a c-section with every child I ever have, who wants to get an 8 inch cut across any part of their body and spent 6-8 weeks not being able to do a damn thing while they heal? I had already been left high and dry by the fathers of both my kids so why would I want to be a single mom again? So I decided that after I delivered my daughter I was going to get my tubes tied.

     Well the state of Ohio and my Doctor had other ideas for me that would piss me off to the extreme. I was only 21 when I had my daughter. My Doctor would always ask 'What if you get married and want a kid with him?' 'What if you change your mind?' ' What if you want to give your son a sibling to grow up with?' My answers were always 'I am placing my daughter for adoption, so if I want another kid I will just adopt.' In the state of Ohio you can not get your tubes tied unless you are older than 25 or you are a single mother of 3 or more kids. Are you freaking kidding me? The government has control over what I do with my body?? I was none to happy about that!! That is when my Doctor told me about Mirena and how it lasted for 5 years. That was a good solution for me since I couldn't do what I wanted to do.

     I always swore I would NEVER have another child. I had already been proven twice that I could not trust any man to actually take responsibility for the child they helped make. I was struggling with being a single mom already. I hated the recovery and the whole delivery process. I was NOT going through that again. I also decided when I was younger that I would never have a child after I turned 30. My mom had me at 31 and she is about to turn 60 this year. She was always tired and didn't want to play with me and my brother when we were little. So I was only going to have kids while I was still young enough to play with them.

     Then my 28th birthday came and I was looking at my 7 1/2 year old only child while he watched tv. I remembered how much fun I had with a little brother to play with. I was never alone, I had a built in friend and playmate. Yet my son was my only child at home. He is the oldest of 5 kids between me and his dad, but my daughter was with her new parents, and his other siblings were with their moms. He only gets to see his oldest younger sister when his dad takes him. He has not seen his youngest little sister in 3 years, and he has never met his baby brother. My view point on having another kid has completely changed. I am willing to wait until 35 before I give up on having another kid. I am happy that I was not able to get my tubes tied. I WANT another kid. Every time I see a baby or even a picture of a baby I start to want to have another one as soon as I can.

     I do have a few things standing in my way though. The simple fact that I have been single for three years is a problem, I am in college, I only work part time, I am staying with my dad, and I JUST got divorced from my ex. Not an ideal way to bring a child into this world. But the fact that I have changed my mind is HUGE. When I do find that right guy I am more willing to have another kid than I ever was before. It is a dream that I hope comes true soon.