This morning I was listening to my favorite radio station while sitting in the parking garage waiting until it was time to go into school for class. They were talking about sex ed and when would it be a good time to talk to your kids about sex and how your parents handled the talk. It got me thinking about when I was younger, and learning about sex, and how I plan to handle the talk with my son.
I first learned about sex when I was 5 or 6. Not from my parents, but from a 13 year old that my mom used to baby sit. This 13 year old would take me into my room and talk to me about sex, different positions, how to hump, how to kiss, how to take off my clothes, etc. Being the age I was, I really looked up to her. One day she convinced me to take my pants off and dry hump the carpet. I didn't think anything about it since she was doing it right next to me. When I was around 8 or 9 my mom would rent video from the library that talked about sex. They were cartoon style talking about how sex is between married people in love. All my mom ever told me about sex was that you wait until you are married, its the Christian thing to do.
In high school when all my friends were losing their virginity and going way past 1st base I was terrified to even kiss a guy. I had anxiety just thinking about sex. I had a guy dump me because I wouldn't sleep with him. When I was 18 I worked for a company with 10 other people unloading trucks. There were 8 guys and the other 2 of us were girls. I was the only virgin. The girl I worked with blabbed her mouth that I was a virgin and that resulted in a lot of teasing and harassing. One day I was in a truck counting boxes on a skid when 4 of the guys walked in, closed the door of the truck, and said "Since you have never seen one before, and its dark in here, we are going to drop out pants so you can feel around and see which one you like better." I reminded them that I had a box cutter and if they didn't let me out I would chop everything off. Looking back I should have gone straight to my boss and filed charges but all I did was head straight to the bathroom and cry for 20 minutes. After that I lost my virginity so I wouldn't be the butt of anymore jokes and it was the worst experience of my life.
Because I was never talked to about sex by my mom and only other people: friends, videos, school, etc. I want to make sure I do things differently with my son. When the time comes I will talk to my son about it and make sure he knows and understands everything he needs to. I do feel that because of my lack of good information and education on the subject has shaped how I feel about it and I don't want that for my son.
What education did you get and how do you plan to handle it with your own child(ren)?