I spent a lot of time on youtube yesterday looking a spoof videos of "Call Me Maybe" and decided to would put a few of them in one single spot so you all could get some laughs out of them. Some were epic and some were lame, but here we go! There are 19 links here so click and enjoy!!
US Marines
2012 USA Olympic Swim Team
Staple Center Team
Rye Boys
Ramapo Kappa Sigma
Syracuse Basketball
Lock Haven Womens Lacrosse
Kids in Class
Tulane Seniors
Avon Lake Graduation
Miami Dolphins cheerleaders
Marines
Some Dudes
Texas State Baseball
UNC Club baseball
Ellworth community college
MHS Teachers
Harvard baseball
SMU Womens Rowing
Thursday, August 23, 2012
Friday, August 17, 2012
Boy Bands of the 90s
So I was reminiscing about my childhood the other day and it make me think to write a short and simple blog about the boy bands I listened to growing up. I am going to list the 16 boy bands of the 90s and post what I liked about them, a photo, and a link to my favorite songs by them. Enjoy and walk down memory lane with me!
First we start with my favorite boy band EVER! I was obsessed with them. I knew everything about them. Each birthday, their entire name. Two of the members went by middle names. I also knew what they slept in and what color tooth brush they used. Back when floppies were still around, I had about 20 filled with pictures and articles from the computer. I had hoped to make a fan site for them, but that was back with you HAD to know HTML or you were screwed, so I never got around to it. That band is Hanson. And, yes I still love them :) Just ordered some Hanson stuff of Amazon the other day :)
Hanson: This Time Around
My next favorite boy band followed very closely with Hanson. I had the hugest crush on Howie. I wanted to marry him and have his babies. I had a friend in HS who had family that lived in the same town that AJ was from so I always wanted to go with her on family vacation in hopes to run into the band. I had pictures of them plastered all over my bedroom wall. Which means my brother did too, since we shared a room until we were 12 and 13. I thought the music was amazing and all the boys were hot. Usually there is always one that is not attractive, but not the case with this band. That would be Backstreet Boys!
Almost tied with BSB is the next group. In HS my friends were equally divided on BSB and this next group. So with some of my friends I only listening to BSB with the others I only listened to the next group. But in all actuality I loved both Equally. They had equal square foot coverage on my wall as well. I should just say that my walls were COVERED in boy band pictures and the heart throb actors I was in love with in the 90s as well. This next group is N'Sync.
When I was a little girl I always tried to pull the 80s into the 90s since I was born right in the middle of the 80s. I felt like I had missed out. I still listened to M C Hammer, Vanilla Ice, and this next band. I had a doll of my favorite member. When the band split I ripped the dolls head off and flushed it down the toilet I was so upset. I had a live tv concert taped that I would watch to feel like I was there watching them sing and dance right in front of me. Then my mom taped over it and pretty much told me to get over it. I was so upset I locked myself in my room for two days. Of course I could only be talking about NKOTB!
This next group I loved for the simple fact that they are from my town, Cincinnati! They still come here to visit family and are seen all around town. The 'ugly' member was my favorite only because my dad used to work with his uncle. I never met him, but I felt like I knew him because of the whole "three degrees of separation" aspect. This could only be 98 Degrees :)
I watched this next group on Making the Band. The ONLY season I ever watched. To be honest I only watched because I thought they were hot as hell. A few years later I learned that my friend (who lived in the apartment under my first apartment) went to the same college as one of the members and was in the same choir class as him as well. I later learned she knew and met MANY celebrities. George Clooney's mom (from Cincinnati as well) used to babysit her mom. Its a shame this group split up so quick too! I am talking about O*Town.
This next group, I only liked one song of theirs but I listened to it all the time. I thought they were cute also. Ok I was, and still, am boy crazy. One of the members later died of a seizure due to his leukemia, which I didn't know about until two days ago. Here is LFO!
I only listened to this group because I liked one of the members on Sister, Sister. Roger was a great character on the show. There music was pretty decent as well. I only listened to about 3 of their songs. The group is Immature.
I never listened to this group, but I can't leave them out. They are a boy band of the 90s. Imajin.
This group has one song that I liked. I used to drive my parents insane (my brother too) by playing this song and singing as loud as I possible could. I am NOT a singer but I really don't care when there is a song I love. Take That is the group of course!
My absolute favorite not so boyish boy band. To me, when I was younger, these were MEN not BOYS. Boyz II Men!
This group started out as a Christian Group and they were my other "hanson" group. I loved the fact that is was four brothers and that two of them were twins. I thought that gave them a nice edge on everyone else that had boy bands with friends and cousins out there. You never really heard from them for that long. I honestly don't remember ever hearing their songs on the radio. I don't remember how I stumbled across them either. They also come across like they were not sure what to do being in the lime light. So, here is The Moffatts.
This next group was not a real boy band, but they were making fun of boy bands. Also BEST FUCKING MOVIE EVER!!! I could only be talking about the one and only 2GETHER! Also, Jerry was on one of my favorite TLC home renovation shows as a host for a while :)
The last three I never really listened to, but I can't leave them out. So I will just post a link to the song I like and their picture :)
Boyzone
New Edition
BBmak, I do still love this song and their accents are freakin hot!
I hope you enjoyed my walk down memory lane :) Please join me next time!
Saturday, August 4, 2012
Jack the Ripper
This is a profile on Jack the Ripper I wrote in 2010 when I took an FBI Profiling class. I am very proud of it! However, since my final copy was stolen this is my last rough draft version, so it might be missing some information. Enjoy :)
I am doing my paper on Jack the Ripper. The beginning of it
is my profile of the type of person I think committed the crimes. The age I am
guessing the UnSub to be at, why I think he did it and the type of Signature he
had. Next I will be talking about the research I did and the people I looked
into. There are quite a few people who look good for the murders, but things
just didn’t quite add up right to me. Then I will be ending the paper with the
one person that really stood out to me as Jack the Ripper. I just feel a strong
connection to this guy being Jack.
Age: 25-35
IQ: 100-115
Occupation:{{ …Killer…}}
Gender: Male
Dress: Well dressed like he has money, but not well dressed enough
to grab any unwanted attention from those around him except the prostitute of
his choice.
Mode of Trans: Walking/horse Taxi
Location: Within 10-15 miles of the murders
Organized or DisOrganized: Very organized. He had plenty of
time with his victims to mutilate them and ritualistically place their body
parts around them. He was able to spend a long amount of time with his victims
and not get caught by anyone else that was walking the streets or riding in the
horse taxi.
Motive: Killing just to kill
Signature: Cutting of the throat, removing of the organs, disembowelment,
cutting of the body, ritualistically placing the organs and personal belongs
around the victim.
Victims: Emma Elizabeth Smith April 3 1888/ Martha Tabram
August 7, 1888/ Mary Ann Nichols August
31, 1988/ Annie Chapman September 8, 1888/ Elizabeth “Liz” Stride Septemer 30.
1988/Catherine Eddows September 30,
1988/Mary Kelly November 8, 1888/ Rose Mylett December 20, 1988/ Alice
McKenzie July, 17 1889/ Frances Coles February 13, 1891
The ones underlined, according to Jack the Ripper by Deborah O’Toole, are the ones positively linked
to Jack the Ripper, the non-underlined ones, have some of the same signature, but no
one has been able to tie them to Jack the Ripper without a doubt. So society,
in general, only pays attention to the conical five. All were prostitutes and
all were older women, except Mary. All were outside, except Mary. Mary was in
her 20s and was inside her sleeping room. Jack had more time with her than he
did with the other four. Liz Stride was not dehumanized quite to the extent as
the other women. Said to be because while Jack was killing her he was
interrupted or came close to being discovered, so less than 30 minutes after
leaving Liz he killed Catherine. I feel that he chose the Prostitutes because
he had issues with loose women or like the serial killers in the past few
decades.
Jack most likely had a bad childhood growing up with a
father who was likely not around and a mother who was around not much more than
his father was. He was a very smart boy and grew up being a very smart young
man. He probably had a steady job in a career field.
I have found in my
reading that he was said to be an Artist, a Free Mason, a Jewish Shoe Maker, a
Teacher, a Doctor, even rumored to be a Duke, I feel personally that he was a
mental patient. I have found the list including the names, along with a few
others on listverse.com.
The artist wasn’t even in the same country at the time of
the murders; the teacher had too much going for him until he lost his job. Yes
he did commit suicide around the same time as Mary Kelly’s murder, but that
does not tie the two together. He was just simply depressed after losing his
job. I don’t feel that is was the Duke either, yes I know that royalty can fall
for a commoner, but it just feels too wrong to me. It doesn’t fit or mesh well
enough for me to believe what I have read.
The artist, Walter, was a sick and twisted man, and he did
have pictures and paintings he made that fit with the crime scenes. I think he
had some sick and twisted obsession with Jack the Ripper and the murders, and
creating the art work made him feel connected to Jack in some way. I have no
doubt that he just saw the pictures in the paper or some other way and would depict
them in his own way. It does make sense that it could be him, but my readings
have shown me that he was not in the country during the murders.
I have read that there was a Duke that was having an affair
with one of the victims, and the murders resulted because someone in the Royal
Court found out about the affair, and knew how it could affect the Duke and
keep him from claiming the throne. One of the victims saw the Duke with the
mistress and told one of her friends. The murders started as a scare tactic to
keep the Mistress from trying to continue her affair with the Duke. It had no effect
with her, and she herself was murdered. If you ask me that just sounds a little
too fishy. It is too much work to cover up the affair to me, why not just kill
the prostitute he was having an affair with, why go through all that trouble to
kill that many of them. Even if the two that knew about it said anything, they
would have no proof that it happened and no one would believe them, so that was
a waste to kill them.
I haven’t read much about the Doctor, but there are
apparently people out there that believe he was a doctor, because of the way
the woman were mutilated. That someone had to have known where the organs were,
how to work a knife, and where to cut the body.
I have found information on a mental patient, James Kelly,
who few people have suspected of being Jack the Ripper. I am inclined to agree
with them, based on my readings. He was a very disturbed man. Born April 20,
1860 to a 15 year old single mother, James was given away shortly after birth.
While his mother is growing up and having a life away from him, James is being
raised by his Grandmother, whom he grows up knowing as his mom. He finds out
the year after his birth mom dies that the women he knew as his mother was
really his grandmother. He withdraws from his job, as an upholsterer, and moves
to New Brighton to learn to be a book keeper. A year later his Grandmother
dies. He has “relationships” with prostitutes for a while. He meets his future wife
in late 1881. They become very intimate and when she decides to give up her
virginity to him things start to change. He is unable to penetrate and feels
that something is wrong with her and she gave him a disease. Being afraid of
doctors he tries to treat himself. James and his wife marry in 1883. Mid-year
1883 James starts to become violent with his wife. He threatens her of being a
prostitute and given him a disease, he tackles her.
Thursday June 21st, 1883 Sarah comes home around
8 from work and goes back out to meet James. An hour later he comes home
without her, then goes back out returning with her twenty minutes later. Even
though they came home together Sarah went to her room and locked the door.
James gets so mad at her he breaks down the door and starts screaming at her.
He throws her on the floor and grabs a pen knife and stabs her in the neck. He
then burrows the knife deeper and deeper in her neck. When Sarah’s mom tried to
save her daughter James throws her across the room then runs away. Sarah was
then taken to the hospital and dies on Sunday the 24th. Friday August 17th 1883 James is
diagnosed insane and sent to Broadmoor.
James is very smart and knows exactly how to work his way
around what he wants. He learns to play the violin so he can get in the band.
All the while he and another inmate are making keys out of metal they find
around the asylum to mimic the guards’ keys to free themselves. January 23,
1888 James escapes from the asylum. He then spends four days walking to London.
He stays there for a week or so. He then walks to Liverpool in February 1888.
Next he escapes to Harwich and works on a passenger ship. Sometime before June
he goes back to London. January 1982 he buys passage on the Zaandam to New
York. January 27th 1896 he turns himself in in New Orleans. By March
he is sent back to England only to escape again. In 1907 Broadmoor finally
officially discharges him. 1927, twenty years later, James shows up on the
steps of Broadmoor. He wants to readmit himself. While there he admits to
everything he did the entire time he was out of the asylum. Including the Jack
the Ripper murders. September 17, 1929 James Kelly dies.
After reading all of this on James, I must say I really like
him for the murders. He fits the profile to me. He had a bad unstable life
growing up with some mental problems. He had a professional job as an
upholsterer growing up as well, which mean he was strong and knowledgeable of
knives and had the strength to cut through things in one quick swipe. He messed
with prostitutes before finding a wife and getting married, who after being
unable to have sex with her begens to yell and become abusive. He felt her to
be just like the prostitutes from his passed and accused her of giving him a
venereal disease. He snapped, he got so mad at her he killed her. He then
escaped from an asylum and while traveling around Europe he killed prostitutes,
continuing on what he had done with his wife. They started out just normal
killing then escalated to ritualistically placing the body parts. And while in
America he continued with the killing till it got to be too much and he turned
himself in. After getting back to Europe and seeing that the police were not
there to receive him he disappeared for twenty more years. Upon that returning
to Broadmoor and giving himself up completely. It just clicks with me, feels
right. I strongly feel that James Kelly is Jack the Ripper.
In my conclusion I know that it is hard to figure out
exactly who Jack is due to the fact that it has been over 100 years since his
murders. I have read and looked into many people, yet there is something about
Kelly that really sticks with me and makes me feel like it was him. Kelly’s
mind is beautifully twisted. He grew up in a very confusing and messed up
childhood and its only a matter of time before he’d snap.
References
Jack the Ripper: Deborah
O’Toole
 |
| Jack the Ripper sketch from evidence James Kelly when he was younger |
You can't chose your family.
Every family has that one person that you wish you were never related to. Well I have quite a few family members I wish I was never related to. I have never really been close my my Aunts, Uncle, or Cousins growing up, and that is something I have always hated. But these 5 I mentioned in this blog I could not be happier that they are no longer a part of my life. They made me a stronger person with all their negativity, but I do not need to waste my time considering them family. I can let things roll off my shoulders and I love proving people wrong.
My Maternal Grandmother: When I was younger I did love my Grandma, like most little kids. I loved going because I got cookies and candy. There was still something lingering in the way I got treated. I noticed at an early age that my grandma treated me differently than my brother. He was regarded as the angel child, the one that never did anything wrong, and you could always depend on him to be perfect. I was the bad seed, the black sheep, and always got treated like crap. If something was broken she would blame me, if something was misplaced she would blame me, if something was dirty she would blame me. I was about 11 or so when we went to go visit her in Georgia and my brother saw some live saver on the fridge. He wanted some so he got them down and ate a few. Then so he wouldn't get in trouble he hid them in the bathroom behind the toilet. My grandma found them and came straight at me. Called me a liar and a thief when I tried to tell her I didn't take them. My brother even told her that he was the one that took them. My grandma told him to stop defending me she knew I was a thief so it had to be me. It wasn't until my mom stepped up that she stopped. Once my mom convinced her that my brother took them she looked at me and said "Oh" then looked at my brother and said "all you had to do was ask" then walked away. Never once did she ever apologize.
As I got older she would start to tell my mom that she was raising me to be a bad kid, that if my mother just whooped me more I might be as good as my brother. My grandma would tell me to my face that she didn't trust me. When I was 18 and decided to start college she said she was proud of me and would help pay for books. Only after I went to ask her for the money for the books did she add "You must pass the first semester so I know you are serious before I help out with the books." The following Christmas my brother got about 5 or 6 big presents from her and some money; I got a card. Inside was a hand written note "For Christmas I am giving you $50, but I gave $25 to your aunt to pay back what you owe her and the other $25 will be given to you once I see you are serious about college." Thanks Bitch! She passed away in 2005.
Maternal Aunt #1: She followed in her mothers footsteps. I was a horrible child and my brother was her "Boo Boo." She would take my brother wherever he wanted to go, my mom had to make her take me. I was too loud, a liar, a thief, spoiled, annoying, self-centered, and much more to her. Growing up to retaliate I did some not so great things to her as well, but I will not talk about those now. Her attitude changed towards me a little after I had my son, but only because my son became her "Baby Waby." My brother had a phone through her plan but only had to pay her $5 in the start. I had to literally beg her to add me. She excepted $30 from me the 1st of every month. If I was short or late she had my phone shut off without telling me. She paid my tuition for college after I told her no then demanded I pay her monthly and even wrote out bills for me. Then her and my mom talked about buying a double wide mobile home together as long as my mother agreed that I was never allowed to set foot in the house (the house my son lived in with my mom). My mom let me come over on the weekends anyways, which caused my Aunt to pretty much lock herself in her room. Then when my mom talked about me moving in to be closer to my son my aunt moved out without telling anyone. My son was siting on her bed watching tv when he came in with movers and told them to unplug the tv without giving any explanation to my, then, 4 year old son. About a week after she moved out I noticed something in the back yard so I went to go see who this guy was. The look on his face was shock and horror. He asked if we lived here, I said yes, then he said "We were told this place was empty and to shut off the power." My aunt told them no one lived there and to shut off the power so she didn't have to keep paying for it. No warning to us so we could get power in my name. She is currently bad mouthing me to any family member that will listen to it. I have recently text her because of her wanting to be a part of my sons life. I told her I hold no hard feelings towards her, but I only want her respect as my sons mother. She then proceeds to tell me that until I show her the respect she feels she deserves she is never going to respect me and that I should stop "demanding" respect. 'Nuff said, you are no aunt of mine or my son.
Maternal Aunt #2: Again, like her younger sister and mother, I am a God awful horrible person. If my brother and I were out with her and had money she would demand that we bought her something. If we refused she would tell our parents we were ungrateful. My dad has had many words with her and always voiced how he couldn't stand my moms three sisters. I don't remember much from when we were younger because I blocked it out. Yet, when I was trying to leave my abusive ex she told me I could move in with her, and I did hoping she had changed. She didn't, and I wrote about it in this blog: I Am Not A Victim, I Am A Survivor. She called me a whale, told me when I walked through the house she had to brace herself because it felt like a Mac Truck was driving through her house. I found out after we moved out that while I was gone she would try to talk my mom into putting it in her will that if my mom died my aunt got custody of my son because I was going to do nothing but screw him up mentally. She still bad mouths me. I was apparently a terror to live with, I abused her so horribly she is scared when the door rings thinking it is me coming back to kill her.
Maternal Second Cousin: Follows suit with the above, but not in the beginning. I loved him in the beginning. I thought he was the coolest guy around and his son (my third cousin) was my favorite cousin. I went to live with him when I was 18. He felt that to mature I needed to get away from my parents who were messing up my chances at becoming an adult. My cousins would go out of there way to make me feel comfortable. my 2nd cousin would have me help him with his company while I looked for work, my 3rd cousin would invite me to hang out with him and his friends. After 6 weeks I just wanted to go home and I told my 2nd cousin this. He paid my my greyhound ticket back home and wished me good luck. Then out of nowhere he is telling people that all I did was leech of him and try to get money out of him every time I saw him. So not even the case. Then he moved up here to live with my mom and Aunt #1 in the house and it got worse. I was a bad mother, I had no discipline, I was a mooch, a leech, and I was going to drag my mother down into a dark abyss. I should mention that my mom has a way of over exaggerating when I mess up to her family, so she is partly the reason they treated me this way. Then when he moved back to Georgia he told my son that he was giving him his Xbox. It was a piece of shit so I sold it and spent the money on my son. He came back up a few months after I moved to Georgia demanding that he gets it back. Then when he couldn't find it he called me a thieving bitch.
Paternal Step-grandma: She was fine with me until I hit about 13 then she started to get a little weird. I cannot remember much about it, but when I was 19 my views on her changed forever. I had gotten kicked out of my parents house because I had plans and didn't come home when my mother told me to. I knew my grandma had an extra room in her house so I called her asking if my ex (bf at the time) and I could stay there for a few weeks until we found something else. She told me that she didn't have the room that someone else was sleeping in that room then "hung up" the phone. She didn't hang it up, but must have thought she did. For 5 straight minutes I can hear her badmouthing me to whoever was there with her. "This girl is always asking me for money (not true, never once). She deserved to get kicked out of her mothers house. I can't believe she would actually think that I would want to help her. She is such a leech. All she ever wants to do it ruin everyone else's life the way she is ruining hers." It got worse over the 5 minutes. I had to fake a smile every time I saw her after that. When she passed earlier this year I only went to her funeral out of my grandpa who passed 12 years ago.
My Maternal Grandmother: When I was younger I did love my Grandma, like most little kids. I loved going because I got cookies and candy. There was still something lingering in the way I got treated. I noticed at an early age that my grandma treated me differently than my brother. He was regarded as the angel child, the one that never did anything wrong, and you could always depend on him to be perfect. I was the bad seed, the black sheep, and always got treated like crap. If something was broken she would blame me, if something was misplaced she would blame me, if something was dirty she would blame me. I was about 11 or so when we went to go visit her in Georgia and my brother saw some live saver on the fridge. He wanted some so he got them down and ate a few. Then so he wouldn't get in trouble he hid them in the bathroom behind the toilet. My grandma found them and came straight at me. Called me a liar and a thief when I tried to tell her I didn't take them. My brother even told her that he was the one that took them. My grandma told him to stop defending me she knew I was a thief so it had to be me. It wasn't until my mom stepped up that she stopped. Once my mom convinced her that my brother took them she looked at me and said "Oh" then looked at my brother and said "all you had to do was ask" then walked away. Never once did she ever apologize.
As I got older she would start to tell my mom that she was raising me to be a bad kid, that if my mother just whooped me more I might be as good as my brother. My grandma would tell me to my face that she didn't trust me. When I was 18 and decided to start college she said she was proud of me and would help pay for books. Only after I went to ask her for the money for the books did she add "You must pass the first semester so I know you are serious before I help out with the books." The following Christmas my brother got about 5 or 6 big presents from her and some money; I got a card. Inside was a hand written note "For Christmas I am giving you $50, but I gave $25 to your aunt to pay back what you owe her and the other $25 will be given to you once I see you are serious about college." Thanks Bitch! She passed away in 2005.
Maternal Aunt #1: She followed in her mothers footsteps. I was a horrible child and my brother was her "Boo Boo." She would take my brother wherever he wanted to go, my mom had to make her take me. I was too loud, a liar, a thief, spoiled, annoying, self-centered, and much more to her. Growing up to retaliate I did some not so great things to her as well, but I will not talk about those now. Her attitude changed towards me a little after I had my son, but only because my son became her "Baby Waby." My brother had a phone through her plan but only had to pay her $5 in the start. I had to literally beg her to add me. She excepted $30 from me the 1st of every month. If I was short or late she had my phone shut off without telling me. She paid my tuition for college after I told her no then demanded I pay her monthly and even wrote out bills for me. Then her and my mom talked about buying a double wide mobile home together as long as my mother agreed that I was never allowed to set foot in the house (the house my son lived in with my mom). My mom let me come over on the weekends anyways, which caused my Aunt to pretty much lock herself in her room. Then when my mom talked about me moving in to be closer to my son my aunt moved out without telling anyone. My son was siting on her bed watching tv when he came in with movers and told them to unplug the tv without giving any explanation to my, then, 4 year old son. About a week after she moved out I noticed something in the back yard so I went to go see who this guy was. The look on his face was shock and horror. He asked if we lived here, I said yes, then he said "We were told this place was empty and to shut off the power." My aunt told them no one lived there and to shut off the power so she didn't have to keep paying for it. No warning to us so we could get power in my name. She is currently bad mouthing me to any family member that will listen to it. I have recently text her because of her wanting to be a part of my sons life. I told her I hold no hard feelings towards her, but I only want her respect as my sons mother. She then proceeds to tell me that until I show her the respect she feels she deserves she is never going to respect me and that I should stop "demanding" respect. 'Nuff said, you are no aunt of mine or my son.
Maternal Aunt #2: Again, like her younger sister and mother, I am a God awful horrible person. If my brother and I were out with her and had money she would demand that we bought her something. If we refused she would tell our parents we were ungrateful. My dad has had many words with her and always voiced how he couldn't stand my moms three sisters. I don't remember much from when we were younger because I blocked it out. Yet, when I was trying to leave my abusive ex she told me I could move in with her, and I did hoping she had changed. She didn't, and I wrote about it in this blog: I Am Not A Victim, I Am A Survivor. She called me a whale, told me when I walked through the house she had to brace herself because it felt like a Mac Truck was driving through her house. I found out after we moved out that while I was gone she would try to talk my mom into putting it in her will that if my mom died my aunt got custody of my son because I was going to do nothing but screw him up mentally. She still bad mouths me. I was apparently a terror to live with, I abused her so horribly she is scared when the door rings thinking it is me coming back to kill her.
Maternal Second Cousin: Follows suit with the above, but not in the beginning. I loved him in the beginning. I thought he was the coolest guy around and his son (my third cousin) was my favorite cousin. I went to live with him when I was 18. He felt that to mature I needed to get away from my parents who were messing up my chances at becoming an adult. My cousins would go out of there way to make me feel comfortable. my 2nd cousin would have me help him with his company while I looked for work, my 3rd cousin would invite me to hang out with him and his friends. After 6 weeks I just wanted to go home and I told my 2nd cousin this. He paid my my greyhound ticket back home and wished me good luck. Then out of nowhere he is telling people that all I did was leech of him and try to get money out of him every time I saw him. So not even the case. Then he moved up here to live with my mom and Aunt #1 in the house and it got worse. I was a bad mother, I had no discipline, I was a mooch, a leech, and I was going to drag my mother down into a dark abyss. I should mention that my mom has a way of over exaggerating when I mess up to her family, so she is partly the reason they treated me this way. Then when he moved back to Georgia he told my son that he was giving him his Xbox. It was a piece of shit so I sold it and spent the money on my son. He came back up a few months after I moved to Georgia demanding that he gets it back. Then when he couldn't find it he called me a thieving bitch.
Paternal Step-grandma: She was fine with me until I hit about 13 then she started to get a little weird. I cannot remember much about it, but when I was 19 my views on her changed forever. I had gotten kicked out of my parents house because I had plans and didn't come home when my mother told me to. I knew my grandma had an extra room in her house so I called her asking if my ex (bf at the time) and I could stay there for a few weeks until we found something else. She told me that she didn't have the room that someone else was sleeping in that room then "hung up" the phone. She didn't hang it up, but must have thought she did. For 5 straight minutes I can hear her badmouthing me to whoever was there with her. "This girl is always asking me for money (not true, never once). She deserved to get kicked out of her mothers house. I can't believe she would actually think that I would want to help her. She is such a leech. All she ever wants to do it ruin everyone else's life the way she is ruining hers." It got worse over the 5 minutes. I had to fake a smile every time I saw her after that. When she passed earlier this year I only went to her funeral out of my grandpa who passed 12 years ago.
Friday, August 3, 2012
We are ALL equal Prt1
I can admit this, I have not always been a supporter of gay rights. In elementary school I didn't understand it, in middle school I didn't think about it, in high school I was negative towards it because that is how people teased me. I was constantly being called 'lesbian' 'butch' 'bull dyke' and other names because I was more comfortable dressed 'like a guy' and keeping my hair short. Then as I left high school and those names were left in my past I started to support the LGBT community. Now, I can't imagine not being an ally. I have multiple friends, and meeting more all the time, that are part of the LGBT community and I don't see them as anything except my equals. So, it saddens me when people do see them as less than equal. By doing so they are missing out on getting to know some amazing people and that breaks my heart. So I decided to have some of my friends, on-line and in real life, tell me what the best thing about being an ally or part of the LGBT community is for them. I really hope you enjoy this.
I will start:
My name is Tiana and I am a full time college student and a single mom. The best part about being an ally is knowing that I am helping to secure a future for those LGBT now and future. I am very excited to see all the positive change in how our society views LGBT rights.
Pamela
Secondary admin for GLBT & Str8
Follower of LGBT News and LGBT Pride!
Bisexual
Fighting for equality across all obstacles is very important to me!!
My name is Kim! In society I am a happily married, stay at home mom of 6. My 2 oldest have already moved out. I have 1 son that is autistic. Hubby is Catholic, I am Wiccan. I am proud to be an ally! Love knows no boundaries!
My name is Jennifer and I am a manager at the local Pizza Hut but I am also a wife and mother. I support marriage equality and the LGBT community wholeheartedly. I've had relationships with men and women and I know that the feelings and trials are the same either way! Except when it comes to the public eye, that is. I dated a girl in high school and we weren't allowed to go to dances together, we got in trouble for holding hands while straight couples kissed in the halls.
1) Alex
2) Drug/GM clerk at Kroger
3) I'm very proud to be an ally. I feel us allies can provide crucial support to our LGBT friends, which will help bolden their rights movement. As for changes, I'd like to see more straight people, especially where it counts, show their support for the LGBT community.
My name is Miranda, I am a college student at Eastern Oregon University in La Grande, OR. I am a proud LGBT ally and a member of the Gay-Straight Alliance at EOU. I believe every ally and every person that speaks out for the rights of the LGBT community makes the community stronger with our support. I hope that one day, being an ally will help make changes. I hope to see people of the LGBT community be treated fairly and like the rest of us. Marriage, jobs, and benefits are rights for every person, no matter what they're sexual orientation.
Hi there, I am David, the founder of Marriage Equality for Pennsylvania, or ME4PA. I am 43, a high school teacher, and I live in northwest Pennsylvania. I feel if I can make a difference in even one student's life, and help that student not be a hateful person, I will have changed the world. I teach German, and as part of my curriculum, we cover the Holocaust. I do not shy away from the part about LGBT people being locked in the camps, tortured and killed. I take students to the US Holocaust Memorial Museum in Washington DC every year. I have some students who are gay who know I am too. They have confided in me when no one else would listen. I hope I can be as helpful to the community, as I try to be at school. Anyway, that's my story, and I hope it helps.
I will start:
My name is Tiana and I am a full time college student and a single mom. The best part about being an ally is knowing that I am helping to secure a future for those LGBT now and future. I am very excited to see all the positive change in how our society views LGBT rights.
Pamela
Secondary admin for GLBT & Str8
Follower of LGBT News and LGBT Pride!
Bisexual
Fighting for equality across all obstacles is very important to me!!
My name is Kim! In society I am a happily married, stay at home mom of 6. My 2 oldest have already moved out. I have 1 son that is autistic. Hubby is Catholic, I am Wiccan. I am proud to be an ally! Love knows no boundaries!
My name is Jennifer and I am a manager at the local Pizza Hut but I am also a wife and mother. I support marriage equality and the LGBT community wholeheartedly. I've had relationships with men and women and I know that the feelings and trials are the same either way! Except when it comes to the public eye, that is. I dated a girl in high school and we weren't allowed to go to dances together, we got in trouble for holding hands while straight couples kissed in the halls.
1) Alex
2) Drug/GM clerk at Kroger
3) I'm very proud to be an ally. I feel us allies can provide crucial support to our LGBT friends, which will help bolden their rights movement. As for changes, I'd like to see more straight people, especially where it counts, show their support for the LGBT community.
My name is Miranda, I am a college student at Eastern Oregon University in La Grande, OR. I am a proud LGBT ally and a member of the Gay-Straight Alliance at EOU. I believe every ally and every person that speaks out for the rights of the LGBT community makes the community stronger with our support. I hope that one day, being an ally will help make changes. I hope to see people of the LGBT community be treated fairly and like the rest of us. Marriage, jobs, and benefits are rights for every person, no matter what they're sexual orientation.
Hi there, I am David, the founder of Marriage Equality for Pennsylvania, or ME4PA. I am 43, a high school teacher, and I live in northwest Pennsylvania. I feel if I can make a difference in even one student's life, and help that student not be a hateful person, I will have changed the world. I teach German, and as part of my curriculum, we cover the Holocaust. I do not shy away from the part about LGBT people being locked in the camps, tortured and killed. I take students to the US Holocaust Memorial Museum in Washington DC every year. I have some students who are gay who know I am too. They have confided in me when no one else would listen. I hope I can be as helpful to the community, as I try to be at school. Anyway, that's my story, and I hope it helps.
Hi There! My name is Stacy and I am the founder of One Million Intelligent People Against One Million Moms on Facebook (www.facebook.com/OMIPAOMM). I am a straight, married woman with 2 children. I am a Senior Applications Specialist at a medical software company, and have been there almost 17 years. I formed my page, because I honestly do not understand breeding hate, and I have children who I would NEVER want to raise to discriminate against anyone. I also live in MA, where gay marriage is legal. I didn't have much of a concept of the struggles LGBT face until I created my page and really started paying attention to what goes on elsewhere. We are all equal. Period. LGBT deserve the same American Rights as everyone else. Someone's right to marry should not be squashed because of others religious beliefs. They are not screaming to get married in a church, they just want to get married. I was not married in a church, but my marriage is certainly recognized legally and that's all that matters. I think as straight allies, we need to be more involved. This year I attended my first gay pride parade in Boston. I loved it so much, I'll never miss another, and am even considering bringing my children next year, because it was such a happy, fun family friendly event. We need to express to our friends and family why we feel like we do. We need to encourage our friends and families to come out and that we support them.
Hello my name is Cheyenne Brewer, i just finished my associates degree in medical assisting. I feel kind of ashamed of our community and our nation because we are still having to fight for marriage equality and equal rights in general. its shameful that in 2012 people are still fighting for equal rights. I am a huge supporter, my brother is gay, and i have many gay friends. I love being an ally. I am very opinionated and say what i am thinking at all times, and there has been friends and family that i no longer talk to because i am such a huge supporter. Love is love and I believe that everyone should have the right to marry anyone they choose. I feel like by just saying that i am a supporter and sharing my story of growing up with a gay brother, and gay friends is just a small step. if i can change at least one persons thought on it, than i have done something good for the cause. I will never stop fighting for this right, and i will continue all i can to change the ways this world sees marriage. One day, and i hope in my life time, that everyone will have the right to marry the person of their dreams, straight or not.
A) Bob
(B) Retired and independent.
(B) Civic activist and Lay Minister for the Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Tupelo, MS
(C) The attitude of the public at large in Mississippi is one of change resistance, uneasy peace between whites and all people of color. My liberal friends and associates are very much in the minority here.
(B) Retired and independent.
(B) Civic activist and Lay Minister for the Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Tupelo, MS
(C) The attitude of the public at large in Mississippi is one of change resistance, uneasy peace between whites and all people of color. My liberal friends and associates are very much in the minority here.
Accordingly, I am an ally of all those who seek equality and fair access to the benefits of life in this country. I am a vocal advocate of Civil and Human Rights for all people.I am the organizer of Occupy Tupelo, pressing for fairness in government actions at all levels for all people. Trying to build enthusiasm for repeal of the Citizen United decision of the SCOTUS which has severely degraded the fairness of our elections.I am a member and supporter of PFLAG, a member of HRC and contribute monthly, I'm the organizer of the first LGBTQ public rally ever held in Tupelo. I am the person behind "Give Hate a Holiday" and have a presence of that name on a Facebook Group and a page. I support any and all LGBTQ activities in this region. I know that Marriage Equality will come to Mississippi only when SCOTUS orders it so. The "biblical marriage" bigots reign here, incited by the American Family Association which is headquartered in Tupelo.I'm fortunate that my income does not come from this area, for of my many allies the vast majority are afraid job loss, economic attack/boycott by the bigots. Changes needed: I believe we are gaining momentum as the cause proceeds. As people in the saner regions of the country continue to develop a feeling of empathy and as that empathy evolves to become compassion, victory will come. The people of this country are compassionate. We need to continue to press the issue with enthusiasm and expectation of victory, while maintaining our dignity and decorum. Every time an individual commits lewd, obscene or repulsive public acts for the cause of equality, we loose. The bigots love to be able to tar us all, LGBTQ and allies alike, as decadent sinners not worthy of being called human. We must not fall into their trap; they can already imagine the worst, let's not give them proof. We could use more national bonding and coordination. HRC is wonderful, but they are not responsive to smaller group efforts and needs. Better sharing of events and planning would give us far better leverage. The regional groupings are slowly emerging as well as state-wide focal points. It is hard sometimes to simply allow somebody to be the leader but we do need that. Leader not Dictator I will do anything I can to help this effort. LGBTQ Equality is my Crusade, my last Hurrah as I begin my 74th year. To quote Martin Luther King, Jr. "I may not get there with you, but I can see the Promised Land."
Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetle......
I absolutely LOVE scary movies. I would watch more than I do now if I felt like actually paying for them. I have seen some that give me nightmares (Nightmare on Elm Street) and some that make me wish I had never seen them because they sucked so bad (Paranormal Activity). I also love paranormal TV shows (Ghost Hunters, Destination Truth) and I could, literally, watch them all freaking day. However, if I watch too many of them in a short period of time I tend to get a little freaked out. The kind of "holy shit there is a ghost staring at me in that dark corner" kind of freaked out.
I just spent a few hours watching "School Spirits" and of course as soon as I discover this show it is the stinking season finale. I did get to watch two of the older episodes as well. After three hours of watching "School Spirits" then an episode of "Haunted Collector" I started to get into that "Holy crap!" mode. Walking through the apartment to get to the bathroom I was looking everywhere and turning on lights before I entered the room and was half expecting to see someone standing there staring at me. While I was talking to a friend about this it made me think back to other times I felt like this. So I am going to share some of the moments in my life where I had myself convinced I was either going to be brutally murdered or see a ghost.
When I was 18 I had just gotten my license. Yeah, I refused to get it when I was 16 because I was NOT going to pay for driving school, so I waited till I was 18 and didn't have to have driving classes. Anyways, I wanted to do nothing but spend my time driving anywhere and everywhere. There were times where I would just leave to drive around the town I lived in. We lived in a country town when I was 18 and it was full or dark, hilly, curvy, solitary roads. I loved it in the day time. I would have my windows down, radio blaring, and speeding (normally 60-70mph) and just enjoying my time. At night it was a different story. There was one time where I was driving down one of the roads that led back to our house. There was a hill that was steep going down, a train track you had to stop at before you could go, then a steep hill back up the other side with a blind turn. The closer I got to this hill leading down the more I started to feel anxious. I hyperventilate, roll up my windows as tight as I could get them, and lock all the doors. When I stop in the bottom of this hill (a nice deep valley) for the train track I get this overwhelming sense that I am about to meet my death. I kept expecting some dude with a metal hook and a rusty machete to come running at my truck screaming that he is going to murder me then skin me. Needless to say I did not stay stopped very long and sped up that hill as fast as I could screaming "YOU'RE NOT GOING TO KILL ME FUCKER!!!"
When I was 19 I had my own apartment (got kicked out of my parents house) and my friends had invited me along to go see the movie "Darkness Falls." I was so excited to get to watch a scary movie about the tooth fairy. I still do not get to live down what happened that night when I got home. Anyone that has seen this movie knows that if you see the Tooth Fairies face she will continue to haunt you until she kills you, but she can not go into the light. The entire way home I am trying to figure out if I had left the lights on in my apartment and if I had not how the hell can I get to my room without being in the dark. I get home, unlock my door, open the door, and TOTAL DARKNESS! I seriously stood in my doorway, under a light, for 3 minutes trying to figure if I could turn the light on without being in the dark. So I get my living room light turn on and walk in. Ok, now the walk to my room was dark. Turn on the kitchen light, turn off living room light, stop before I get to the bathroom. Reach my hand into the bathroom to turn the light on, turn the kitchen light off, stop before entering the bedroom. Shit, the light for my bedroom is next to my bed. So I run, screaming, to my bed to turn on the light. After I get that light turned on I walk back to the bathroom to turn off that light. I get ready for bed and crawl in ready to get some sleep and forget about the movie I just recently finished. I am not in bed for 10 minutes before it hits me that I have to pee so bad. I lay in my bed for another 10 minutes trying to convince myself that if I just ignore it I can get to sleep because it is too much work to get to the bathroom safely. Oh, can't forget, my head was under the covers the whole time to insure that I didn't accidentally see the Tooth Fairy. I ended up grabbing my lamp and carrying it as far as the cord would let me, which was the middle of the room, then hightailing it to the bathroom. After I was done I ran to my bed, jumped in, threw the covers over my head, and slept with the light on. I felt like Rocky in the morning because I was still alive and the Tooth Fairy didn't kill me.
When I was 22 I was home alone with my son, who was 2 at the time, and I ended up waking up at 2 in the morning. I thought it would be a GREAT idea to watch whatever scary movie was on at the time (I forget which one it was). After watching it, and being tired beyond belief, I swore that everywhere I looked I saw faces staring at me, I thought people were looking in the windows as well. I walked through the entire house turning on every single light, except my room, and made sure all the windows and doors were locked. The way the house was set up we had FIVE doors leading outside so there were a lot of doors to make sure were closed tight and locked. I tend to get paranoid when I am extremely tired, and that was me this night. I sat in the middle of the living room singing as loud as I could, without waking up my son, "This little light of mine" to make sure that I not only had physically light in the house but spiritual as well. My dad came home from work about an hour later and just stood in the doorway for what felt like 5 minutes staring at me and asking if I had escaped from the mental institute.
There are so many more stories like this. I am going to have to write another blog about this. I can't even believe I am sharing these, but I hope that you enjoy my idiotness and someone can relate to me.
Thursday, August 2, 2012
Future butt bombs to come
You always try to find new things for your kids. Things they might like, things you think will be good for them, things that you think they will love. Sometimes you are spot on and it works out great. While other times it does a total butt bomb and you wish that your kid had liked it instead of thinking of it negatively.
Well, the butt bombing is what happened to my son on his first overnight camp. According to him, the only fun part of camp was the swimming and the BB guns. He said the rest was horrible. He told me he cried every night and every morning that he wanted to go home, most of the food sucked (extremely picky eater), and that he just didn't enjoy himself. If makes me feel bad because I had hoped he would love it so much that he would want to stay or go back every year. I am not sure I am going to be able to get him to go back next year.
I know I am going to send him back next year. This is something he needs. Maybe next year he will enjoy it better since he will be a year older. It will be a great experience for him, it will teach him new things, and it will help in advance faster in scouts. It is hard to make that decision to have your child keep doing something you know they do not like. In the end it is the absolute best thing for them. We have to make those hard choices as a parent. I just wish they weren't so hard.
I mean, I HATED camp when I was younger. Well, I should rephrase that. I hate my fellow campers but loved camp. I dreaded going because of my fellow campers. At least my son didn't "hate" camp for the same reasons I did. I first started going to overnight camps when I was going into 5th grade, a full 2 years older than my son is now. I was shy, quiet, and scared to meet new people. The girls in my cabin seemed to pinpoint me as the person to antagonize. The entire week I was there I was accused of being a lesbian, the girls would tell our cabin leader that I would stare at them while they were changing and that they didn't feel safe showering with me (2 person shower). That seemed to follow suit for every single camp I went to after that. I am not sure why they treated me like that or taunted me like that. Yet, I still kept going to camp because my mom made me. As a kid I hated it, but looking back at it I am so happy that I was forced to go. It gave me a thicker skin and taught me how to meet new people.
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
Daddy Dearest
There are times I really wish my son had a better dad. In the past 8 years he has seen his son only about 50 times (not including the times that he temporarily lived with us). He is never consistent with it either. Right now he only sees his son 2 days a month. I understand that he works 3rd shift and has a fiance, but he is off every single weekend. Why can't he spend one day a weekend with his son? He never shows up on time or he has an excuse as to why he can't come down. One excuse was that it "was too hot and he had no a/c in his car." He missed his sons birthday party because he "didn't have enough gas." Yet, at the party his mom told me she gave him gas money to make it to the party. He didn't even call to say happy birthday. When he is actually with our son he is great with him and this is only recently. Before my son and I moved to AZ his dad was not the best. His friends and phone calls were more important than his son. If he was in the same room as our son and his phone rang he would ignore our son and walk out of the room (even if our son was talking to him) until his phone call was over.
His dad has 4 other kids besides our son and he only sees one other of his kids. He never calls our son just to talk to him or texts to ask how our son is doing. He never makes an effort to come to any event our son might have going on. He has never been to a soccer game (when our son played), he has never been to a scout meeting or outing, he has never met any of our sons teachers, he hasn't been to any of the DR appointments since our son was 3. I love having my son all the time and having sole custody of him, but I want his dad to realize what he is missing out on. Our son is a great child and his dad is seriously missing out. He doesn't know anything about our son. If I were to ask him what our sons favorite color or food was he would never be able to answer it. He is wanting to have our son on overnights when he gets his own place, but that makes me nervous. He is never going to know how our son takes his PB&Js, which is microwaved for 15 seconds to get it warm, or that he hates white milk.
I decided when my ex missed our sons birthday that I was done making excuses for him. If he is going to miss his time with our son then he has to tell him, not me. I have always said that I will never talk bad about his dad, that it is up to my son to form his own opinions of his dad. He doesn't even talk about or ask about his dad unless he knows he is supposed to see his dad. I will ask if he wants to call his dad and it is always a resounding "No." For 2 years, when he was younger, he called his dad by his first name. He said he never saw him so why should he need to call him Dad? My dad and brother are a better father figure to my son than his own dad.
I had a great relationship with my dad growing up, and I still do. Is it so wrong to want that for my son as well?
His dad has 4 other kids besides our son and he only sees one other of his kids. He never calls our son just to talk to him or texts to ask how our son is doing. He never makes an effort to come to any event our son might have going on. He has never been to a soccer game (when our son played), he has never been to a scout meeting or outing, he has never met any of our sons teachers, he hasn't been to any of the DR appointments since our son was 3. I love having my son all the time and having sole custody of him, but I want his dad to realize what he is missing out on. Our son is a great child and his dad is seriously missing out. He doesn't know anything about our son. If I were to ask him what our sons favorite color or food was he would never be able to answer it. He is wanting to have our son on overnights when he gets his own place, but that makes me nervous. He is never going to know how our son takes his PB&Js, which is microwaved for 15 seconds to get it warm, or that he hates white milk.
I decided when my ex missed our sons birthday that I was done making excuses for him. If he is going to miss his time with our son then he has to tell him, not me. I have always said that I will never talk bad about his dad, that it is up to my son to form his own opinions of his dad. He doesn't even talk about or ask about his dad unless he knows he is supposed to see his dad. I will ask if he wants to call his dad and it is always a resounding "No." For 2 years, when he was younger, he called his dad by his first name. He said he never saw him so why should he need to call him Dad? My dad and brother are a better father figure to my son than his own dad.
I had a great relationship with my dad growing up, and I still do. Is it so wrong to want that for my son as well?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)