There are times I really wish my son had a better dad. In the past 8 years he has seen his son only about 50 times (not including the times that he temporarily lived with us). He is never consistent with it either. Right now he only sees his son 2 days a month. I understand that he works 3rd shift and has a fiance, but he is off every single weekend. Why can't he spend one day a weekend with his son? He never shows up on time or he has an excuse as to why he can't come down. One excuse was that it "was too hot and he had no a/c in his car." He missed his sons birthday party because he "didn't have enough gas." Yet, at the party his mom told me she gave him gas money to make it to the party. He didn't even call to say happy birthday. When he is actually with our son he is great with him and this is only recently. Before my son and I moved to AZ his dad was not the best. His friends and phone calls were more important than his son. If he was in the same room as our son and his phone rang he would ignore our son and walk out of the room (even if our son was talking to him) until his phone call was over.
His dad has 4 other kids besides our son and he only sees one other of his kids. He never calls our son just to talk to him or texts to ask how our son is doing. He never makes an effort to come to any event our son might have going on. He has never been to a soccer game (when our son played), he has never been to a scout meeting or outing, he has never met any of our sons teachers, he hasn't been to any of the DR appointments since our son was 3. I love having my son all the time and having sole custody of him, but I want his dad to realize what he is missing out on. Our son is a great child and his dad is seriously missing out. He doesn't know anything about our son. If I were to ask him what our sons favorite color or food was he would never be able to answer it. He is wanting to have our son on overnights when he gets his own place, but that makes me nervous. He is never going to know how our son takes his PB&Js, which is microwaved for 15 seconds to get it warm, or that he hates white milk.
I decided when my ex missed our sons birthday that I was done making excuses for him. If he is going to miss his time with our son then he has to tell him, not me. I have always said that I will never talk bad about his dad, that it is up to my son to form his own opinions of his dad. He doesn't even talk about or ask about his dad unless he knows he is supposed to see his dad. I will ask if he wants to call his dad and it is always a resounding "No." For 2 years, when he was younger, he called his dad by his first name. He said he never saw him so why should he need to call him Dad? My dad and brother are a better father figure to my son than his own dad.
I had a great relationship with my dad growing up, and I still do. Is it so wrong to want that for my son as well?
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