I have a few Christmas memories that I absolutely love remembering this time of year. I have bad memories, which I have written about in this blog but today I am focusing on my favorite ones.
My earliest Christmas memory is from around the age of 5 or 6. My parents had me and my brother with them while they went to the toy store to pick up a few things, and this was back when they would gift wrap everything for you. They come out to the van with this HUGE already wrapped present and I just knew that it was for me. Every time I would ask if it was mine or try to touch it my dad would say "Touch it and I make you watch homeless kids play with it." That only made me want to see what it was more, but I didn't want to watch other kids playing with it so I left it alone. Christmas morning, at around 4am, me and my brother get up while our parents were still sleeping like the dead and rip open every single damn present under the tree. The giant present was one of those big fisher price kitchens, which of course made our freaking day! So, at 4am my brother and I drag this thing down the hall, into our parents room, start screaming for them to look what Santa brought us and shove this kitchen thing on the bed, on top of our dad. Then we ran back to the living room to pile our arms up with everything else and throw those on top of our parents as well. Needless to say.. we got in trouble if we didn't wait till they woke up for Christmases following that one.
My next memory is every Christmas Eve we got to open one present before we went to bed. This satisfied us until we were 8 and 9, then we started begging to open everything under the tree before we went to bed. After a while our parents finally agreed but told us that if we were so impatient to open presents they would make sure that Santa brought us nothing to open the next morning. We were totally fine with that since we had no patience and wanted everything as soon as we saw them under the tree.
Also, around this time my brother and I had learned the main 2 spots our mom would hide presents and while our dad was at work and our mom was asleep on the couch we would go through those spots and count how many presents we had gotten. I had also mastered the art of opening the presents to look at them and wrapping them back up like they had never been touched. Of course, my dad caught on real quick but my mom took a little while longer. I did that until I was around 19. Pathetic I know.
Around 10 and 11 we started opening all our presents on Christmas eve and had nothing to open Christmas morning so everyone could sleep in. This didn't bother my brother and I because that meant we could still wake up early and play with our new presents. Every year my dad would get a 'family' gift or a big gift my brother and I would share, which back in the 90s was Nintendo stuff so we would play Mario or compete in driving games the entire next day.
When my brother and I were in middle school we woke up Christmas morning knowing there was nothing under the tree and our parents would be awake, because we were teenagers we needed sooo much more sleep lol. We go out to the living room and our mom is in the kitchen making breakfast and we see the tree. There are a good 30 more presents under the tree. My brother and I look at each other, back at the tree, back at each other, and scream "OH MY GOD!!!!" then hear our mom laughing in the kitchen. They decided to surprise us with more presents to open Christmas morning.
My absolute favorite Christmas memory is from when I was around 16. My best friend and I decided we would cut down a baby tree from the yard our apartment building was on. I get our super dull ax out and we walk out to the property line. We found the perfect 4ft tall tree and proceed to chop it down. As we are dragging the tree back to my apartment my friend notices something on the tree. We stop walking so he can find out what he is looking at. It is an old wasps nest. It's the middle of December, the nest was long dead, but my friend started screaming like a wasp was going to come out and murder us. He then starts running around the yard to find a stick, comes back to the tree and starts beating the ever loving shit out of the tree. He is still screaming the entire time he is doing this and it is taking everything I have not to piss myself while I laugh at what I am seeing. He hates it when I share this story, which makes me want to share it more.
Now, as a mother, I continue to make new memories watch Christmas happen through my childs eyes, but these are a few of my "pre mommy" favorite memories. Hope you enjoyed.
Friday, December 20, 2013
Thursday, December 19, 2013
Just because I gave it to you doesn't mean you get to keep it
My moms side of the family is notorious for giving you a gift then expecting it back if they find out you are done with it, or expecting the money you get for returning/selling the gift if you don't like it.
Talk about "Indian Givers" -- now I know that term is probably not PC anymore, but get over it.. I said it my entire childhood.
If I was given clothes by my grandma or aunts and they found out I returned them, because they were hideous, they would say that I should have given the money from the returns to them. In their mind.. I didn't keep the gift so it should have gone straight back to them, even though as soon as it was handed over to me it was mine, therefor no longer theirs to lay claim over. So that is when I started getting things like sock, underwear, and crap like that.
Boogers first Christmas with my aunt in Arizona my aunt got him a bunch of shirts and books. He was 5 at the time, how many 5 year old want 90% of their presents to be books and shirts? So, being the unfiltered 5 year old he was when he opened a present he would say "I don't like that." So, of course, my aunt would respond with "fine give it back and I will give it to someone else." Before Booger could agree I would say, this is his now and he can return them and get something he likes. Which pissed her off, in turn, making it more enjoyable for me because it would really piss her off. I'm sorry, the tag had his name, not yours, that in turn makes it HIS to do with as he pleases.
When me and Booger were moving home my mom bought him a DS Lite so he would have his own and something to play with on the plane. The following Christmas Santa got him a DSi, so we traded in the DS Lite and he got games to play for the new one. My mom found out about this and said "well, I would have liked it if he was done with it. I was the one that bought it for him." Ok, and? It was his, he got a new one, so he traded it in for games. Just because he was done with it does not automatically make it yours again.
This past Christmas my mom bought him n easy bake oven because he had been asking one. He hasn't played with it because he wants to play with it when his sister is over, which hasn't been often.. but.. again my mom found out he wasn't using it and called me asking if she could have it back to take to the consignment shop for some pocket change. Um, no. It is his, therefor anything that would come from it is also his.
I don't remember exactly what was given to me and by which family member, but I was given something for my birthday a while back and came upon some hard times. I sold the item and used the money. The family member found out about it and spent an hour chewing me out because that money belonged to them. They gave me said item, so when I no longer felt the need to keep it it should have gone back to them or any money acquired from the item.
The concept of a gift just completely goes over their heads. It is a gift until they see you no longer want it, then it was no longer a gift but a loan. I am sorry, but that is not what a gift is. Please look up gift in the dictionary and if you can't handle that then stop giving them out. Thank you ever so kindly.
Talk about "Indian Givers" -- now I know that term is probably not PC anymore, but get over it.. I said it my entire childhood.
If I was given clothes by my grandma or aunts and they found out I returned them, because they were hideous, they would say that I should have given the money from the returns to them. In their mind.. I didn't keep the gift so it should have gone straight back to them, even though as soon as it was handed over to me it was mine, therefor no longer theirs to lay claim over. So that is when I started getting things like sock, underwear, and crap like that.
Boogers first Christmas with my aunt in Arizona my aunt got him a bunch of shirts and books. He was 5 at the time, how many 5 year old want 90% of their presents to be books and shirts? So, being the unfiltered 5 year old he was when he opened a present he would say "I don't like that." So, of course, my aunt would respond with "fine give it back and I will give it to someone else." Before Booger could agree I would say, this is his now and he can return them and get something he likes. Which pissed her off, in turn, making it more enjoyable for me because it would really piss her off. I'm sorry, the tag had his name, not yours, that in turn makes it HIS to do with as he pleases.
When me and Booger were moving home my mom bought him a DS Lite so he would have his own and something to play with on the plane. The following Christmas Santa got him a DSi, so we traded in the DS Lite and he got games to play for the new one. My mom found out about this and said "well, I would have liked it if he was done with it. I was the one that bought it for him." Ok, and? It was his, he got a new one, so he traded it in for games. Just because he was done with it does not automatically make it yours again.
This past Christmas my mom bought him n easy bake oven because he had been asking one. He hasn't played with it because he wants to play with it when his sister is over, which hasn't been often.. but.. again my mom found out he wasn't using it and called me asking if she could have it back to take to the consignment shop for some pocket change. Um, no. It is his, therefor anything that would come from it is also his.
I don't remember exactly what was given to me and by which family member, but I was given something for my birthday a while back and came upon some hard times. I sold the item and used the money. The family member found out about it and spent an hour chewing me out because that money belonged to them. They gave me said item, so when I no longer felt the need to keep it it should have gone back to them or any money acquired from the item.
The concept of a gift just completely goes over their heads. It is a gift until they see you no longer want it, then it was no longer a gift but a loan. I am sorry, but that is not what a gift is. Please look up gift in the dictionary and if you can't handle that then stop giving them out. Thank you ever so kindly.
Tuesday, December 17, 2013
The 7 men that just make my heart melt
I am the type of girl that you would call "boy crazy." I have never had just one crush at a time. I have had a crush on 10 guys at the same time. Because every single one of them are attractive in their own way. Yes, they are physically attractive, but it is also their personality that I find incredibly attractive as well. I also know that a handful of the guys I was attracted too were asshats and didn't deserve my attention, but they got it anyways.
Where I have A LOT of crushes is when it comes to celebrities. I know that I don't know them, I am not around them, I have never spoken to them, but I do see what they post on social networks. The pictures, posts, videos they share show more about their personality than what an interview shows. There are times where it is just a strong appreciation for their physical appearance. With some of them how can you not look at them and just think (or say) "Dayum they are gorgeous!"
So I decided to share my top 7 celebrity crushes and why I am crushing on them. It feels weird saying 'crush' at 29 years old lol. Anyways.. here you go!
#1 is the one and only Johnny Depp. Aside from the fact that he could make looking homeless hot, he is beautiful on the inside and out. The first thing I ever saw him in was "Benny and Joon" and I was just drawn to his character. A little off bu completely lovable at the same time. Every single role Johnny has played just comes to life. There is so much depth and you can tell that this character has a past, a history, dreams, goals, aspirations. Not many actors out there can get that feeling across with the characters they play. For 20 years I have been a fan of his. I don't understand how woman don't find him attractive.
#2 is Jamie Campbell Bower. Jamie is probably the most recent celebrity crush on my list, only because the other guys have been on my list since I was younger. Jamie is a very attractive young man, but it is his personality in interviews and the posts that he shares on Twitter. He isn't afraid to be him no matter how silly he looks. That is something that is highly respectable and very sexy. I love a man that knows how to let loose and have fun. I first saw him play Anthony in "Sweeny Todd" along side Mr. Depp. His first big screen movie a long side Johnny and the amazing Helena Bonham Carter was so impressive because you could not tell that was his first major motion picture. His singing voice is so beautiful as well and just draws you in and has you begging for more. Jamie is absolutely one celebrity I wish I could sit down for drinks with.
#3 is sort of a twofer. Benji and Joel Madden from Good Charlotte. I have been a fan of Good Charlotte since before MTV played their music in the 90s. Even though they are twins Benji has always been my favorite. Something about him just always struck out more than with his brother Joel. I will even over look the fact that he dated Paris Hilton. I mean really dude? Love a man covered in tattoos with piercings.
#4 is Joseph Gordon-Levitt. When I first saw him in "Angels in the Outfield" I thought he was absolutely adorable, but it was when he was on "3rd Rock From The Sun" that my celebrity crush on him really developed. But now, it is more an absolute respect for what he is doing with Hit RECord. He is also very humble. He has been quoted saying that a sex scene in a movie is just an excuse to see two people naked and has nothing to do with the story. He is incredibly handsome and dapper. I have so much respect for him and what he is doing in his professional life. When I watch 50/50 I had to have the box of kleenex next to me. I laughed and cried with his character. It made me think of how I would handle the situation he was in. I think about that stuff a lot but 50/50 just brought a whole new light to the though process. I honestly don't know if I would be able to leave my bed if I found out I had cancer and was that sick.
#5 is Matthew Gray-Gubbler. I will be absolutely honest and say that my crush on him started solely because of his looks. I find him absolutely sexy. I only started watching "Criminal Minds" just to see him on tv every week, but grew to absolutely love the show. Like Jamie (#2) I follow him on twitter and see the things he posts which just makes him so much more attractive. Another man that is not afraid to let loose and have fun in everything he does. Matthew is another celebrity I would love to sit down for drinks with. Or co-judge a taco eating contest with. I look forward to watching his work as his career continues to grow.
#6 is James Fraco. With James my first thoughts are "Daniel Desario." James is most defiantly a guy that likes to make his fans happy and he has fun doing it. Just look at his instagram, which I wish I had but I won't pay for a smart phone plan. He is funny as well and I respect any man that has no problem, on national television, when talking about his little brother say "Isn't he so cute?" James is another actor where you can see him get so involved in who his character is. It's not a "how would this guy act" it is a "I am this guy so how would I act" type of thing.
#7. The one. The only. The amazing. The talented. The beautiful. This hilarious Justin Timberlake. He can sing, he can dance, he can act, he is great at comedy. He is a quadruple threat. I mean. N*Sync, SNL, Alpha Dogs, do I need to say more? No? Well I will, the way he talks about his wife. That is a way that every woman wants to be talked about by the man that loves him. There is no denying that Justin is a man that is not afraid to show, scream, to the world that he is in love and thinks that Jessica is the most amazing woman to grace his life.
Where I have A LOT of crushes is when it comes to celebrities. I know that I don't know them, I am not around them, I have never spoken to them, but I do see what they post on social networks. The pictures, posts, videos they share show more about their personality than what an interview shows. There are times where it is just a strong appreciation for their physical appearance. With some of them how can you not look at them and just think (or say) "Dayum they are gorgeous!"
So I decided to share my top 7 celebrity crushes and why I am crushing on them. It feels weird saying 'crush' at 29 years old lol. Anyways.. here you go!
Tuesday, December 10, 2013
Um thanks, but no thanks!
Getting closer to Christmas and I have been remembering some of the worst gifts I have ever gotten and I thought I would share them with you fine people of the internet.
Worst gift #1: When I was 13 I had gotten a gift box of 20 pairs of earrings for pierced ears from my grandma on my dads side. Only problem with that... I wasn't allowed to get my ears pierced until I was 16.. When my mom and I pointed that out to my grandma her response was "Well, then pierce her ears. How was I supposed to know she didn't have pierced ears?" Oh, I dunno, you're my grandma. How about you PAY ATTENTION!
Worst gift #2: A box of underwear from one of my aunts. Every single one was a different size and none of them were the size I wore when they were given to me.
Worst gift #3: When I was 18 my grandma on my moms side gave me a card that said "I was going to give you $50 but I gave $25 to your aunt to pay her back since I know you never will and the other $25 I am holding onto until you show you are serious about growing up."
Worst gift #4: A set of bar soaps. I am allergic to bar soap. It is well known in the family. I break out in hives.
Worst gift #5: An "IOU" because they ran out of money to buy my gift after buying gifts for the rest of our friends in high school.
Worst gift #6: Again in high school, another year where they 'forgot' about me I was given 3 used pencils.
There have been more gifts like this, but I have blocked those out of my memory. I swore when I bought gifts for people I would pay attention to what they liked and asked for so I was never known for giving the worst gift of the year. Thankfully, I haven't gotten a worst gift in a few years. I guess that means I am due for another one soon though!
Worst gift #1: When I was 13 I had gotten a gift box of 20 pairs of earrings for pierced ears from my grandma on my dads side. Only problem with that... I wasn't allowed to get my ears pierced until I was 16.. When my mom and I pointed that out to my grandma her response was "Well, then pierce her ears. How was I supposed to know she didn't have pierced ears?" Oh, I dunno, you're my grandma. How about you PAY ATTENTION!
Worst gift #2: A box of underwear from one of my aunts. Every single one was a different size and none of them were the size I wore when they were given to me.
Worst gift #3: When I was 18 my grandma on my moms side gave me a card that said "I was going to give you $50 but I gave $25 to your aunt to pay her back since I know you never will and the other $25 I am holding onto until you show you are serious about growing up."
Worst gift #4: A set of bar soaps. I am allergic to bar soap. It is well known in the family. I break out in hives.
Worst gift #5: An "IOU" because they ran out of money to buy my gift after buying gifts for the rest of our friends in high school.
Worst gift #6: Again in high school, another year where they 'forgot' about me I was given 3 used pencils.
There have been more gifts like this, but I have blocked those out of my memory. I swore when I bought gifts for people I would pay attention to what they liked and asked for so I was never known for giving the worst gift of the year. Thankfully, I haven't gotten a worst gift in a few years. I guess that means I am due for another one soon though!
Monday, November 11, 2013
My favorite childhood memory almost forgotten
There is one thing that I have done as a kid that I have yet to do more than once with my son, when I took him to Georgia right after I got married.
That is to take a road trip. Every summer we would go down to my Grandpa's farm and it took us an hour and a half to get there. So for me and my brother those were road trips. Anything that took longer than a trip to the store was a road trip.
I had completely forgotten about them until talking to my dad yesterday. It's amazing how much of your childhood you forget. It really is. Anyways.
My mom would always pack us a cooler of snacks to have on the way down there:
Cheese in a can
Crackers
Bread
Bologna
A few cans of coke for my dad
Water
Chips
Maybe some cookies
There would always be like 3 or 4 cans of cheese too because my brother and I would always fight over who got the can the most and go through an entire can by ourselves. We would have challenges to see who could put the most cheese on a cracker before the cheese fell off the cracker or we couldn't fit it in our mouth anymore. We also knew the cans of coke were my dads and we were stuck with water, but it never failed we would team up to snag a can without our parents noticing. That always failed. While one of us was trying to slowing crack open the can without a ridiculously, heard on the other side of the world, pop and hiss the other would fake cough or sneeze until the can was open. Without fail my dad would always hear us open the can. Which was followed by him saying "Oh you guys are so nice opening a pop for me. Thank you!" So my brother and I would try to drink as much as we could before handing it up to him. That usually meant we would spill it on ourselves in the midst of the frantic "omg he caught us drink it!" frenzy going on in the back seat.
When it came to the bread, that was always an instant fail. Either my brother or I would always forget to close the bag which meant all the moisture, and sometimes straight ice water, from the cooler would get in the bag and leave us with a soggy sack of what use to be bread. So there went everyone else's sandwiches on this trip!
My brother and I would have belching contests too. I learned early on that Sprite made me gassy if I drank it too fast so when we would stop I always got a Sprite. I knew that was the only way I would beat my brother because he could belch on demand and I couldn't.
For a while in my childhood my mom had this huge Buick and when my brother and I were still small enough, and the seat belt laws were not in effect, we would take turns sleeping in the back window of the car. That rendered it impossible for my dad to see out the window while he was driving, but it slowed down the "he's touching me! Her arm is on me! His foot just touched my hand!" you would hear if both of us tried to sleep on the back seat. You just heard "he fell on top of me on purpose! She stuck her foot in my face!"
We also partook in turning around in our seat and putting on shows for the people driving behind us, waving hi incessantly to everyone behind us, or pretending to shoot people with our 'finger guns'. That was always a trip when you got the rare person that would respond back to us by waving, laughing, or dodging our fake bullets. Made our day.
If we got lucky our dad would have his work van for these trips. This meant there was no backseat for us to sit on. So we would grab our blankets and get ready for the ride. We slid around the back of that van on every hill and turn like we were in our own personal roller coaster. Shits and giggles were made that way. It also knocked us out, I mean rocked us to sleep, 90% of the time too. Then when we finally made it to the last mile stretch to get to my Grandpa's farm we would open the side door and hang out feet out. We would start yelling for our Grandpa's dog, who always showed up, and would run next to the van for the last little stretch of our trip.
Unfortunately my Grandpa died when I was 16, 4 1/2 years before my son was born, so I never got to take him on any of these trips. Now I can't afford road trips. It is something I have always wanted to do with him and one of these days we will spend a whole summer taking a road trip so he can make his own memories like this.
That is to take a road trip. Every summer we would go down to my Grandpa's farm and it took us an hour and a half to get there. So for me and my brother those were road trips. Anything that took longer than a trip to the store was a road trip.
I had completely forgotten about them until talking to my dad yesterday. It's amazing how much of your childhood you forget. It really is. Anyways.
My mom would always pack us a cooler of snacks to have on the way down there:
Cheese in a can
Crackers
Bread
Bologna
A few cans of coke for my dad
Water
Chips
Maybe some cookies
There would always be like 3 or 4 cans of cheese too because my brother and I would always fight over who got the can the most and go through an entire can by ourselves. We would have challenges to see who could put the most cheese on a cracker before the cheese fell off the cracker or we couldn't fit it in our mouth anymore. We also knew the cans of coke were my dads and we were stuck with water, but it never failed we would team up to snag a can without our parents noticing. That always failed. While one of us was trying to slowing crack open the can without a ridiculously, heard on the other side of the world, pop and hiss the other would fake cough or sneeze until the can was open. Without fail my dad would always hear us open the can. Which was followed by him saying "Oh you guys are so nice opening a pop for me. Thank you!" So my brother and I would try to drink as much as we could before handing it up to him. That usually meant we would spill it on ourselves in the midst of the frantic "omg he caught us drink it!" frenzy going on in the back seat.
When it came to the bread, that was always an instant fail. Either my brother or I would always forget to close the bag which meant all the moisture, and sometimes straight ice water, from the cooler would get in the bag and leave us with a soggy sack of what use to be bread. So there went everyone else's sandwiches on this trip!
My brother and I would have belching contests too. I learned early on that Sprite made me gassy if I drank it too fast so when we would stop I always got a Sprite. I knew that was the only way I would beat my brother because he could belch on demand and I couldn't.
For a while in my childhood my mom had this huge Buick and when my brother and I were still small enough, and the seat belt laws were not in effect, we would take turns sleeping in the back window of the car. That rendered it impossible for my dad to see out the window while he was driving, but it slowed down the "he's touching me! Her arm is on me! His foot just touched my hand!" you would hear if both of us tried to sleep on the back seat. You just heard "he fell on top of me on purpose! She stuck her foot in my face!"
We also partook in turning around in our seat and putting on shows for the people driving behind us, waving hi incessantly to everyone behind us, or pretending to shoot people with our 'finger guns'. That was always a trip when you got the rare person that would respond back to us by waving, laughing, or dodging our fake bullets. Made our day.
If we got lucky our dad would have his work van for these trips. This meant there was no backseat for us to sit on. So we would grab our blankets and get ready for the ride. We slid around the back of that van on every hill and turn like we were in our own personal roller coaster. Shits and giggles were made that way. It also knocked us out, I mean rocked us to sleep, 90% of the time too. Then when we finally made it to the last mile stretch to get to my Grandpa's farm we would open the side door and hang out feet out. We would start yelling for our Grandpa's dog, who always showed up, and would run next to the van for the last little stretch of our trip.
Unfortunately my Grandpa died when I was 16, 4 1/2 years before my son was born, so I never got to take him on any of these trips. Now I can't afford road trips. It is something I have always wanted to do with him and one of these days we will spend a whole summer taking a road trip so he can make his own memories like this.
Monday, September 30, 2013
I am at my breaking point and it makes me want to drink
For the past week I have felt myself get more and more stressed. It seems that no matter what I do I can't stop feeling beaten down. I am at my tipping point; my breaking point.
Stress #1
I am only six weeks into my semester and have already missed 13 class, with four more to miss before the semester is even over. Seven of those missed classes are in the same class, I have only made it to three of them. Miss more than six classes you are academically withdrawn and have to get permission from the dean of the department to be able to take the class again. In another class I have missed four days, and it's my language class. You miss class you are lost. I have missed four in a row, I missed an entire chapter and have a test when I go back to class on the chapter I missed. I have called my academic adviser twice and he hasn't called me back in four days.
Stress #2
I keep missing classes because of doctor appointments for me and my son. My son had a seizure in school, that was one missed class. He had an EEG, that was two classes. He had to see a neurologist, that was two classes. I missed two classes due to symptoms from my Pseudotumor Cerebri (PTC). I had to see a dentist to fix a botched root canal, that was two classes. I saw my neurologist for my PTC, that was two classes. My sons school scheduled a last minute teacher in service day, no school for him, that was two missed classes for me. Between the 4th of October and the 22 of October I will have to miss nine more classes due to more appointments. I am a single mom, I don't have his dad helping me, I can't afford a baby sitter, my dad is asleep while we are in school because of his hours for work, and my mom lives 45 minutes away with no car.
Stress #3
My son has ADHD and ODD and was diagnosed just over a year ago. He was doing great with being on his best behavior until about a month and a half ago. Since then he has gotten angrier, more defiant, destructive, lies almost constantly, and seems to care less about how he acts. Just tonight when I attempted to go to bed I noticed there was a very strong smell in the bedroom. When I walked in he woke up (pretending that he had been asleep until then) and I asked what that smell was. He said he had no idea. I went to go turn on the light next to the bed and stepped in a large wet spot. He said he didn't know how that happened either. I turn on the light and see water all over my books next to my bed, the large wet spot on the floor, and hand sanitizer on my bed. He still swears up and down he didn't do it. I told him to just tell me the truth, but if he kept lying he was grounded from the computer for the rest of the week. As soon as I said that his face got red, he sat up and leaned over the side of the top bunk, and as loud as he could shriek started going off on me about how he is tired of being told he is lying when he didn't do it. Then he laid down and covered his head with his blanket. I said if he didn't do it then someone must have broke into our room, put the sanitizer on my bed and water all over my books, and then snuck out before he ever noticed what was going on. The look on my sons face was completely empty like he had just shut down and put up the Berlin wall. He hadn't acted like that since he was put on his medication. Yeah there are times where he gets mad or frustrated then starts punching himself in the leg and smacking the shit out of his face. He has done that since he was five. It is not fun being scared of your own child.
Stress #4
Trying to figure out if college is even worth it with how the past six weeks has been going. Or if I should just drop out and give up on something else and work meaningless jobs making barely enough to get by.
I don't know what to do, but my frozen strawberry daiquiri that I have had in the freezer for two years sounds really good right about now.
Stress #1
I am only six weeks into my semester and have already missed 13 class, with four more to miss before the semester is even over. Seven of those missed classes are in the same class, I have only made it to three of them. Miss more than six classes you are academically withdrawn and have to get permission from the dean of the department to be able to take the class again. In another class I have missed four days, and it's my language class. You miss class you are lost. I have missed four in a row, I missed an entire chapter and have a test when I go back to class on the chapter I missed. I have called my academic adviser twice and he hasn't called me back in four days.
Stress #2
I keep missing classes because of doctor appointments for me and my son. My son had a seizure in school, that was one missed class. He had an EEG, that was two classes. He had to see a neurologist, that was two classes. I missed two classes due to symptoms from my Pseudotumor Cerebri (PTC). I had to see a dentist to fix a botched root canal, that was two classes. I saw my neurologist for my PTC, that was two classes. My sons school scheduled a last minute teacher in service day, no school for him, that was two missed classes for me. Between the 4th of October and the 22 of October I will have to miss nine more classes due to more appointments. I am a single mom, I don't have his dad helping me, I can't afford a baby sitter, my dad is asleep while we are in school because of his hours for work, and my mom lives 45 minutes away with no car.
Stress #3
My son has ADHD and ODD and was diagnosed just over a year ago. He was doing great with being on his best behavior until about a month and a half ago. Since then he has gotten angrier, more defiant, destructive, lies almost constantly, and seems to care less about how he acts. Just tonight when I attempted to go to bed I noticed there was a very strong smell in the bedroom. When I walked in he woke up (pretending that he had been asleep until then) and I asked what that smell was. He said he had no idea. I went to go turn on the light next to the bed and stepped in a large wet spot. He said he didn't know how that happened either. I turn on the light and see water all over my books next to my bed, the large wet spot on the floor, and hand sanitizer on my bed. He still swears up and down he didn't do it. I told him to just tell me the truth, but if he kept lying he was grounded from the computer for the rest of the week. As soon as I said that his face got red, he sat up and leaned over the side of the top bunk, and as loud as he could shriek started going off on me about how he is tired of being told he is lying when he didn't do it. Then he laid down and covered his head with his blanket. I said if he didn't do it then someone must have broke into our room, put the sanitizer on my bed and water all over my books, and then snuck out before he ever noticed what was going on. The look on my sons face was completely empty like he had just shut down and put up the Berlin wall. He hadn't acted like that since he was put on his medication. Yeah there are times where he gets mad or frustrated then starts punching himself in the leg and smacking the shit out of his face. He has done that since he was five. It is not fun being scared of your own child.
Stress #4
Trying to figure out if college is even worth it with how the past six weeks has been going. Or if I should just drop out and give up on something else and work meaningless jobs making barely enough to get by.
I don't know what to do, but my frozen strawberry daiquiri that I have had in the freezer for two years sounds really good right about now.
Thursday, September 26, 2013
The shit side of laundry
There is one thing that I am sure most mothers are terrified of when it comes to cleaning up after their children. At least I know I am terrified of this. It is.........
DOING THE LAUNDRY!!
Especially if you have boys. I am not sure how it goes with girls, but washing my sons clothes is a horror story all in its own right! I never know what I am going to find or if something is clean or dirty.
There is the sniff test, if you can handle it. Just grab their clothes and take a whiff. If you feel the need to gag they are dirty, but how do you know that you aren't going to get a nose full of piss or something worse?
If the clothes are in the bathroom or scattered around the living room then it is just a bet that those are dirty. If not, they are going to be getting washed anyways.
When it comes to my son it is usually just safer to throw everything in the basket if I am not sure. I saw "When in doubt just wash it!"
I am the most terrified when it comes to reaching in the basket to put the clothes in the washer. There have been more than one occasion where I have stuck my hand in something brown. My son, when he has an accident, instead of cleaning things up will just hide the soiled item under the rest of the dirty laundry. What makes it worse is when it doesn't go away in the washer, but you don't know that until you open the drier and are hit square in the face with that awful smell.
My son helps out with his laundry if I do it while he is home, but there are those days I try to get it done before he comes home from school. I think I need to learn to only do it while he is home so I can save my hand, my stomach, and my sanity.
Hello, my name is Tiana and I am afraid of my sons dirty laundry.
DOING THE LAUNDRY!!
Especially if you have boys. I am not sure how it goes with girls, but washing my sons clothes is a horror story all in its own right! I never know what I am going to find or if something is clean or dirty.
There is the sniff test, if you can handle it. Just grab their clothes and take a whiff. If you feel the need to gag they are dirty, but how do you know that you aren't going to get a nose full of piss or something worse?
If the clothes are in the bathroom or scattered around the living room then it is just a bet that those are dirty. If not, they are going to be getting washed anyways.
When it comes to my son it is usually just safer to throw everything in the basket if I am not sure. I saw "When in doubt just wash it!"
I am the most terrified when it comes to reaching in the basket to put the clothes in the washer. There have been more than one occasion where I have stuck my hand in something brown. My son, when he has an accident, instead of cleaning things up will just hide the soiled item under the rest of the dirty laundry. What makes it worse is when it doesn't go away in the washer, but you don't know that until you open the drier and are hit square in the face with that awful smell.
My son helps out with his laundry if I do it while he is home, but there are those days I try to get it done before he comes home from school. I think I need to learn to only do it while he is home so I can save my hand, my stomach, and my sanity.
Hello, my name is Tiana and I am afraid of my sons dirty laundry.
Wednesday, August 28, 2013
When and how to have "The Talk"
This morning I was listening to my favorite radio station while sitting in the parking garage waiting until it was time to go into school for class. They were talking about sex ed and when would it be a good time to talk to your kids about sex and how your parents handled the talk. It got me thinking about when I was younger, and learning about sex, and how I plan to handle the talk with my son.
I first learned about sex when I was 5 or 6. Not from my parents, but from a 13 year old that my mom used to baby sit. This 13 year old would take me into my room and talk to me about sex, different positions, how to hump, how to kiss, how to take off my clothes, etc. Being the age I was, I really looked up to her. One day she convinced me to take my pants off and dry hump the carpet. I didn't think anything about it since she was doing it right next to me. When I was around 8 or 9 my mom would rent video from the library that talked about sex. They were cartoon style talking about how sex is between married people in love. All my mom ever told me about sex was that you wait until you are married, its the Christian thing to do.
In high school when all my friends were losing their virginity and going way past 1st base I was terrified to even kiss a guy. I had anxiety just thinking about sex. I had a guy dump me because I wouldn't sleep with him. When I was 18 I worked for a company with 10 other people unloading trucks. There were 8 guys and the other 2 of us were girls. I was the only virgin. The girl I worked with blabbed her mouth that I was a virgin and that resulted in a lot of teasing and harassing. One day I was in a truck counting boxes on a skid when 4 of the guys walked in, closed the door of the truck, and said "Since you have never seen one before, and its dark in here, we are going to drop out pants so you can feel around and see which one you like better." I reminded them that I had a box cutter and if they didn't let me out I would chop everything off. Looking back I should have gone straight to my boss and filed charges but all I did was head straight to the bathroom and cry for 20 minutes. After that I lost my virginity so I wouldn't be the butt of anymore jokes and it was the worst experience of my life.
Because I was never talked to about sex by my mom and only other people: friends, videos, school, etc. I want to make sure I do things differently with my son. When the time comes I will talk to my son about it and make sure he knows and understands everything he needs to. I do feel that because of my lack of good information and education on the subject has shaped how I feel about it and I don't want that for my son.
What education did you get and how do you plan to handle it with your own child(ren)?
I first learned about sex when I was 5 or 6. Not from my parents, but from a 13 year old that my mom used to baby sit. This 13 year old would take me into my room and talk to me about sex, different positions, how to hump, how to kiss, how to take off my clothes, etc. Being the age I was, I really looked up to her. One day she convinced me to take my pants off and dry hump the carpet. I didn't think anything about it since she was doing it right next to me. When I was around 8 or 9 my mom would rent video from the library that talked about sex. They were cartoon style talking about how sex is between married people in love. All my mom ever told me about sex was that you wait until you are married, its the Christian thing to do.
In high school when all my friends were losing their virginity and going way past 1st base I was terrified to even kiss a guy. I had anxiety just thinking about sex. I had a guy dump me because I wouldn't sleep with him. When I was 18 I worked for a company with 10 other people unloading trucks. There were 8 guys and the other 2 of us were girls. I was the only virgin. The girl I worked with blabbed her mouth that I was a virgin and that resulted in a lot of teasing and harassing. One day I was in a truck counting boxes on a skid when 4 of the guys walked in, closed the door of the truck, and said "Since you have never seen one before, and its dark in here, we are going to drop out pants so you can feel around and see which one you like better." I reminded them that I had a box cutter and if they didn't let me out I would chop everything off. Looking back I should have gone straight to my boss and filed charges but all I did was head straight to the bathroom and cry for 20 minutes. After that I lost my virginity so I wouldn't be the butt of anymore jokes and it was the worst experience of my life.
Because I was never talked to about sex by my mom and only other people: friends, videos, school, etc. I want to make sure I do things differently with my son. When the time comes I will talk to my son about it and make sure he knows and understands everything he needs to. I do feel that because of my lack of good information and education on the subject has shaped how I feel about it and I don't want that for my son.
What education did you get and how do you plan to handle it with your own child(ren)?
Tuesday, July 23, 2013
The never ending question game
After me and my son left school we swung by my brothers to pick up one of his birthday presents. The way there Booger(my son) was talking about Minecraft and things that had to deal with that. On the way home these are the types of questions I am having to answer (Note the first 5 questions and the fact that I am taking an astronomy course that Booger knows about):
1. What would happen if someone let loose an air tank on Mars?
2. Would you just see air escaping but not going anywhere?
3. Are there telescopes that can let you see really up close to the Sun? Not ones in space, but down here. Where you can sit there and look at the lava and stuff coming off the Sun?
4. Are there telescopes in space where you can set them to record and see things really really close up?
5. I wonder if you are a skydiver if you can take a bite out of a cloud.
6. What do you think a cloud tastes like?
7. If you are flying a plane and you get really thirsty and don't have anything to drink do you think you can just take a bite out of a rain cloud and get water?
8. What does it mean when someone says 'wet my whistle'?
9. If you had a jet pack do you think you would drink from a cloud?
10. Ok, even though jet packs can't get you in the clouds what if you had a glider with rockets on it?
11. What do you think a cloud tastes like?
12. Why is it when you open a door to an airplane if you are in the air things get sucked out?
This was just the questions asked in a 10 minute period. I need to start writing down all the other questions I get asked every single freakin day! I must say though. For being just a few days away from 9 years old he has some pretty smart questions!
1. What would happen if someone let loose an air tank on Mars?
2. Would you just see air escaping but not going anywhere?
3. Are there telescopes that can let you see really up close to the Sun? Not ones in space, but down here. Where you can sit there and look at the lava and stuff coming off the Sun?
4. Are there telescopes in space where you can set them to record and see things really really close up?
5. I wonder if you are a skydiver if you can take a bite out of a cloud.
6. What do you think a cloud tastes like?
7. If you are flying a plane and you get really thirsty and don't have anything to drink do you think you can just take a bite out of a rain cloud and get water?
8. What does it mean when someone says 'wet my whistle'?
9. If you had a jet pack do you think you would drink from a cloud?
10. Ok, even though jet packs can't get you in the clouds what if you had a glider with rockets on it?
11. What do you think a cloud tastes like?
12. Why is it when you open a door to an airplane if you are in the air things get sucked out?
This was just the questions asked in a 10 minute period. I need to start writing down all the other questions I get asked every single freakin day! I must say though. For being just a few days away from 9 years old he has some pretty smart questions!
Friday, July 19, 2013
Can money seriously start growing from trees?!
With my sons 9th birthday creeping around the corner it has gotten me thinking about college. I am in college now and am no where near being finished. I am already so far in debt with just student loans it isn't even funny. So I decided I wanted to save money for my sons college fees.
When he was born I always said I wanted to be able to put everything his dad gave for child support into a college fund, but that hasn't been possible so far. Then I got to thinking, with a little help from my mom (yes I will give you partial credit for this), why not take $10 from each weekly payment and put it into my sons savings account? Then when I get a refund check from my school or taxes take a couple hundred and stick it in there as well.
So far, all is well and good. There is a little pocket change in there. So I decided to look up estimated college tuition in the year 2022, when my son should be starting college. That scared the shit out of me!
I would need to be able to put $500 a month into a saving account for my son just to insure that college can even have a possibility of being paid for! I don't have $500 a month to live off of, let alone save up! So I am on the verge of pulling my hair out right now.
Then there are scholarships. Well, sports is inevitably left out because my son is not athletic at all. Unless I can get him into swimming (which takes money) then there might be some hope with that one. My child is a freaking fish and loves to swim.
Minority scholarships are left out too, I don't think they consider being a direct descendant to a Hatfield a minority. They should, but they probably don't lol.
My son is obviously not a woman so that one can't work either.
Unusual scholarships should be left in the running though. I mean they did give a scholarship to a girl just for having the best duct tape prom dress. My son is very unusual as well.
The only ones that might have a major running for my son are community service scholarships or academic scholarships. He got all As and Bs in 3rd grade, maybe if he can get all As for the next 8 years he can try for academic scholarships. He has done community service before, but not much, we can always try and build up on that one.
All in all, I know college isn't cheap. I am living through how not cheap it is right now! But maybe I can insure that he has enough money for college that he won't have to take out loans. My college fund only had $5 in it. I have 8 years left to save up everything I can. Fingers crossed!!
When he was born I always said I wanted to be able to put everything his dad gave for child support into a college fund, but that hasn't been possible so far. Then I got to thinking, with a little help from my mom (yes I will give you partial credit for this), why not take $10 from each weekly payment and put it into my sons savings account? Then when I get a refund check from my school or taxes take a couple hundred and stick it in there as well.
So far, all is well and good. There is a little pocket change in there. So I decided to look up estimated college tuition in the year 2022, when my son should be starting college. That scared the shit out of me!
I would need to be able to put $500 a month into a saving account for my son just to insure that college can even have a possibility of being paid for! I don't have $500 a month to live off of, let alone save up! So I am on the verge of pulling my hair out right now.
Minority scholarships are left out too, I don't think they consider being a direct descendant to a Hatfield a minority. They should, but they probably don't lol.
My son is obviously not a woman so that one can't work either.
Unusual scholarships should be left in the running though. I mean they did give a scholarship to a girl just for having the best duct tape prom dress. My son is very unusual as well.
The only ones that might have a major running for my son are community service scholarships or academic scholarships. He got all As and Bs in 3rd grade, maybe if he can get all As for the next 8 years he can try for academic scholarships. He has done community service before, but not much, we can always try and build up on that one.
All in all, I know college isn't cheap. I am living through how not cheap it is right now! But maybe I can insure that he has enough money for college that he won't have to take out loans. My college fund only had $5 in it. I have 8 years left to save up everything I can. Fingers crossed!!
Tuesday, July 9, 2013
What I have learned so far having an ADHD/ODD child
There are some changes that I have noticed with Booger since he was diagnosed with ADHD/ODD roughly a year ago. I am not a fan of most of the changes even though I know he really has no control over them. I see how hard Booger is working at doing the absolute best he can, but if it was not for his therapy and medication things would still be the nightmare they were 2-3 years ago. I know one day he will be able to handle everything sans medication and that would be a day for major celebration. If you do not have a child that is ADHD or ODD, or even know an ODD child then you will probably think that I am letting my son get away with murder, but until you live with it or know someone living with it you will never truly understand what I go through on a daily basis.
He no longer likes loud noises. In fact he tends to freak out when he hears loud noises. I used to be able to take him to parades when he was younger. Now if I take him to a parade, the second the marching band walks past he starts covering his ears, screaming, crying, and begging to go home. I have not seen a parade in three years. The same goes for fire works. I think last year (2012) was the last year that we were able to sit through an entire showing of fireworks. The year before that we had to go about 2 blocks away and watch them between houses, with Booger sitting in the car with the door closed. I can't even run the vacuum in the same room as him because he will curl into a ball and cry while covering his ears until I turn it off. I have to tell him to leave the room just to vacuum.
His tastes are changing and he hates trying new things. My child used to be a bottomless pit when it came to food. If my dad or my brother ate it, Booger ate it. Now we are down to Booger only eating about 7 things and maybe, just MAYBE, he will try something new. Booger will only try something new if it is his idea. If you ask him to try it he slaps his hand over his mouth and starts backing away from the table. His Occupational Therapist (OT) has even tried to get him to try new foods. They also have to be prepared a certain way or I just wasted the food.
Punishments are more a punishment for me than they are Booger. It used to be when he was younger all I had to do was put his butt in a chair for a few minutes and we were good the rest of the day. Now when he has a melt down (thank God they are not violent anymore) I am the one that ends up getting punished more than him. Booger will scream and cry, while pleading and begging, that he doesn't get grounded so long that I can't get anything done. If I leave him alone in the room the destroys the room and injures himself in the process. Two years ago he actually put a dent in the wall from hitting it so hard with his head. I spent 10 minutes yesterday just trying to pry the Wii remote out of his hands with his screaming "Im sorry" so I could get him to sleep.
I can have him look me in the eyes while I talk, then repeat back exactly what I just said and he will still forget what I said the second he stops repeating it. He has no attention span and unless it has to do with something he has a serious interest in he couldn't give two shits less about retaining the information. If it has to do with World of Warcraft, Minecraft, Skylanders Giants, etc he can tell you every single thing about the games because he will sit and research the hell out of the games. Tell him to turn the light out as he walks past the switch I am repeating myself over and over with him looking at me like I am speaking a foreign language.
I swear its selective, even though I know it really isn't. At school he is fine. With my brother he is fine. When my dad is around he is fine. With me its like there is no filter for his actions if he is off his medication. He will go full force with me. Then when its over and he is back to normal, it is then that he finally knows what he did and feels a horrible amount of remorse. In the past year Booger went from being on the verge of an attack almost daily to only being that way when he is so far beyond tired he should have been asleep yesterday. It has been a roller coaster of emotions and a learning experience, but the biggest thing I have learned is I need to reconsider everything I thought was right when it came to parenting. So Starting to today I am challenging myself to not raise my voice or yell for a whole month. I want to see what difference that makes with not only Booger but with myself as well. We shall see what happens!
He no longer likes loud noises. In fact he tends to freak out when he hears loud noises. I used to be able to take him to parades when he was younger. Now if I take him to a parade, the second the marching band walks past he starts covering his ears, screaming, crying, and begging to go home. I have not seen a parade in three years. The same goes for fire works. I think last year (2012) was the last year that we were able to sit through an entire showing of fireworks. The year before that we had to go about 2 blocks away and watch them between houses, with Booger sitting in the car with the door closed. I can't even run the vacuum in the same room as him because he will curl into a ball and cry while covering his ears until I turn it off. I have to tell him to leave the room just to vacuum.
His tastes are changing and he hates trying new things. My child used to be a bottomless pit when it came to food. If my dad or my brother ate it, Booger ate it. Now we are down to Booger only eating about 7 things and maybe, just MAYBE, he will try something new. Booger will only try something new if it is his idea. If you ask him to try it he slaps his hand over his mouth and starts backing away from the table. His Occupational Therapist (OT) has even tried to get him to try new foods. They also have to be prepared a certain way or I just wasted the food.
Punishments are more a punishment for me than they are Booger. It used to be when he was younger all I had to do was put his butt in a chair for a few minutes and we were good the rest of the day. Now when he has a melt down (thank God they are not violent anymore) I am the one that ends up getting punished more than him. Booger will scream and cry, while pleading and begging, that he doesn't get grounded so long that I can't get anything done. If I leave him alone in the room the destroys the room and injures himself in the process. Two years ago he actually put a dent in the wall from hitting it so hard with his head. I spent 10 minutes yesterday just trying to pry the Wii remote out of his hands with his screaming "Im sorry" so I could get him to sleep.
I can have him look me in the eyes while I talk, then repeat back exactly what I just said and he will still forget what I said the second he stops repeating it. He has no attention span and unless it has to do with something he has a serious interest in he couldn't give two shits less about retaining the information. If it has to do with World of Warcraft, Minecraft, Skylanders Giants, etc he can tell you every single thing about the games because he will sit and research the hell out of the games. Tell him to turn the light out as he walks past the switch I am repeating myself over and over with him looking at me like I am speaking a foreign language.
I swear its selective, even though I know it really isn't. At school he is fine. With my brother he is fine. When my dad is around he is fine. With me its like there is no filter for his actions if he is off his medication. He will go full force with me. Then when its over and he is back to normal, it is then that he finally knows what he did and feels a horrible amount of remorse. In the past year Booger went from being on the verge of an attack almost daily to only being that way when he is so far beyond tired he should have been asleep yesterday. It has been a roller coaster of emotions and a learning experience, but the biggest thing I have learned is I need to reconsider everything I thought was right when it came to parenting. So Starting to today I am challenging myself to not raise my voice or yell for a whole month. I want to see what difference that makes with not only Booger but with myself as well. We shall see what happens!
Friday, June 21, 2013
If it aint broke why keep changing it??
Since my son was born I have come to learn that many things are done differently than when I was a child. Most of the time I would do what I felt was best for my child, even if the Dr said otherwise. There have, however been a few times where I did what the Dr suggested just simply because I was not sure how I felt about my way v their way. I know that I am 20 years older than Booger and things do change over the years, but the amount of changes has always seemed crazy to me. Boogers main pediatrician is mine from 18mo-16yr so when I don't agree with one of her colleagues I ask what she feels and she almost always goes old school. She is partially retired and I will most likely cry when she completely retires, I just need her to wait until Booger thinks he is too old for a 'baby' Dr.
CHANGE NUMBER ONE: Putting a small amount of baby cereal in the formula to help fill the baby up so they are not taking a bottle every hour as opposed to the typical 2 hours.
When I was little this was something my mom did with me and my brother. We were both well over 10lbs at birth and were HUNGRY. So she would cut the nipple hole a little bigger, but a very small amount of baby cereal in the formula and feed us. It would keep us full longer and made up happy babies. While Booger was a healthy 8.9lbs compared to my almost 11lbs he had a healthy appetite and it took quite a bit to make his tummy happy. So I did what my mom did with me and my brother. While at a 3mo check up my sons Dr (not his primary one) over heard me talking about it to my mom and about chewed my head off. Something about how I was going to hurt his immune system, make him allergic to everything under the sun, and his stomach couldn't handle it. Of course after talking to his primary pediatrician she told me I was fine with what I was doing and her colleagues are younger and follow the newer practices.
CHANGE NUMBER TWO: Feeding more than one type of baby food in a day.
When me and my brother were little my mom would give us a variety of baby food. For lunch we would have one thing, dinner would be another, so on and so forth. Which is what I did with Booger. His favorites were the nasty smelling green ones, but he LOVED his fruits as well. So when I fed him he would typically get half a jar of gross green (made the diaper look amazing by the way) and half a jar of the fruits. Sometimes he would still be full so he would top off with some formula. Pediatrician (younger ones) were not happy with this either. Again, I was risking my child growing up with severe food allergies. Really? Every child before 2000-whatever was fed like that and they turned out fine.
CHANGE NUMBER THREE: Spanking and time outs
When I was younger it was nothing to see a kid who was acting like a asshat get a swat on the ass, get stuck nose first into the nearest corner, or told to go eat soap when the swore. Now if you do something like that you are abusing your child and everyone who witnesses it will call 241-kids and tell the world that you are a horrible parents because you actually teach your kid that being a jerk or not listening or cursing to your parents face has consequences. Is it any wonder why some children today are total buttholes? Now I read about how being a helicopter parents is a positive thing and instead of grounding your child or giving them a time out you are supposed to smother them with love because that is the only way your child will know you love them and not grow up emotionally scared because they were punished. Bet your butt when I swore in front of my mom I was given the option of bar soap or liquid soap-- you want liquid btw because bar will totally stick to your teeth no matter would much you try to rinse your mouth out. I got time out more times than I can count. My ass got busted numerous times. I don't feel unloved, I am not emotionally scared, I deserved that shizz man! Booger gets grounded, he gets a quick swat when absolutely needed. Thankfully he gets upset enough with himself when he curses that I don't need to do anything about that.
CHANGE NUMBER FOUR: Using dots and dashes to do math
I don't have much to say about this except why is my 8 year old still being taught to do addition and subtraction with dots and dashes? To figure out 20+16 I see dots and dashes all over the paper instead of writing it with the 20 on top and 16 below it. If I try to help him with his math and write it that way he goes "That's not how we do it, I can't write it like that!" Um ok!
CHANGE NUMBER FIVE: Kids under the age of 14 with cell phones.
In the 90s when I wanted to know if my friend was busy or wanted to play I would GO TO THEIR HOUSE AND ASK THEM or call them from a landline. Now I am seeing kids as young as 6 with their own cell phone! Seriously? You child has that huge of a social life and that busy of a calender to need their own personal phone? I get it if you are in a split family and you want to make sure your child can call you in a serious situation but why do they need one other than that? Booger has been asking for a phone since he was 5 and my answer is always "When you are 14, have a a social life where you are gone with friends most of the time, and can help with enough chores around the house to pay for it. Plus you better have straight As" The ONLY way he gets a phone before that is if he ever spends more time with his dad so I can call him because his dad ignores me when he is with Booger. Then when he is with me the phone gets put up till he is with his dad again.
CHANGE NUMBER SIX: Addiction to the internet.
My house didn't have the internet until I was 13. When we did finally get it I was only allowed to use it to help with homework. I didn't get a MySpace until I was 17 and I didn't have Facebook until I was 23. Now its almost impossible to meet a child who doesn't spend a great deal of time on a computer, smart phone, or tablet. Booger is almost 9 and plays WoW (World of Warcraft for those not in the know) and Minecraft. When he gets grounded and loses computer time he acts like the world is over. He knows how to do internet searches better than I do and I have 16 years experience over his little behind. There have been so many time where I have witnessed someone under the age of 24 being asked a question they should know the answer to and they have to look it up before they can answer. I had a full encyclopedia set not Google. The internet is breeding zombie children and so many people act like it is completely normal! At the first sign of Booger turning into a zombie I am throwing away all computers and will just have to do all my homework while I am at school!
CHANGE NUMBER ONE: Putting a small amount of baby cereal in the formula to help fill the baby up so they are not taking a bottle every hour as opposed to the typical 2 hours.
When I was little this was something my mom did with me and my brother. We were both well over 10lbs at birth and were HUNGRY. So she would cut the nipple hole a little bigger, but a very small amount of baby cereal in the formula and feed us. It would keep us full longer and made up happy babies. While Booger was a healthy 8.9lbs compared to my almost 11lbs he had a healthy appetite and it took quite a bit to make his tummy happy. So I did what my mom did with me and my brother. While at a 3mo check up my sons Dr (not his primary one) over heard me talking about it to my mom and about chewed my head off. Something about how I was going to hurt his immune system, make him allergic to everything under the sun, and his stomach couldn't handle it. Of course after talking to his primary pediatrician she told me I was fine with what I was doing and her colleagues are younger and follow the newer practices.
CHANGE NUMBER TWO: Feeding more than one type of baby food in a day.
When me and my brother were little my mom would give us a variety of baby food. For lunch we would have one thing, dinner would be another, so on and so forth. Which is what I did with Booger. His favorites were the nasty smelling green ones, but he LOVED his fruits as well. So when I fed him he would typically get half a jar of gross green (made the diaper look amazing by the way) and half a jar of the fruits. Sometimes he would still be full so he would top off with some formula. Pediatrician (younger ones) were not happy with this either. Again, I was risking my child growing up with severe food allergies. Really? Every child before 2000-whatever was fed like that and they turned out fine.
CHANGE NUMBER THREE: Spanking and time outs
When I was younger it was nothing to see a kid who was acting like a asshat get a swat on the ass, get stuck nose first into the nearest corner, or told to go eat soap when the swore. Now if you do something like that you are abusing your child and everyone who witnesses it will call 241-kids and tell the world that you are a horrible parents because you actually teach your kid that being a jerk or not listening or cursing to your parents face has consequences. Is it any wonder why some children today are total buttholes? Now I read about how being a helicopter parents is a positive thing and instead of grounding your child or giving them a time out you are supposed to smother them with love because that is the only way your child will know you love them and not grow up emotionally scared because they were punished. Bet your butt when I swore in front of my mom I was given the option of bar soap or liquid soap-- you want liquid btw because bar will totally stick to your teeth no matter would much you try to rinse your mouth out. I got time out more times than I can count. My ass got busted numerous times. I don't feel unloved, I am not emotionally scared, I deserved that shizz man! Booger gets grounded, he gets a quick swat when absolutely needed. Thankfully he gets upset enough with himself when he curses that I don't need to do anything about that.
CHANGE NUMBER FOUR: Using dots and dashes to do math
I don't have much to say about this except why is my 8 year old still being taught to do addition and subtraction with dots and dashes? To figure out 20+16 I see dots and dashes all over the paper instead of writing it with the 20 on top and 16 below it. If I try to help him with his math and write it that way he goes "That's not how we do it, I can't write it like that!" Um ok!
CHANGE NUMBER FIVE: Kids under the age of 14 with cell phones.
In the 90s when I wanted to know if my friend was busy or wanted to play I would GO TO THEIR HOUSE AND ASK THEM or call them from a landline. Now I am seeing kids as young as 6 with their own cell phone! Seriously? You child has that huge of a social life and that busy of a calender to need their own personal phone? I get it if you are in a split family and you want to make sure your child can call you in a serious situation but why do they need one other than that? Booger has been asking for a phone since he was 5 and my answer is always "When you are 14, have a a social life where you are gone with friends most of the time, and can help with enough chores around the house to pay for it. Plus you better have straight As" The ONLY way he gets a phone before that is if he ever spends more time with his dad so I can call him because his dad ignores me when he is with Booger. Then when he is with me the phone gets put up till he is with his dad again.
CHANGE NUMBER SIX: Addiction to the internet.
My house didn't have the internet until I was 13. When we did finally get it I was only allowed to use it to help with homework. I didn't get a MySpace until I was 17 and I didn't have Facebook until I was 23. Now its almost impossible to meet a child who doesn't spend a great deal of time on a computer, smart phone, or tablet. Booger is almost 9 and plays WoW (World of Warcraft for those not in the know) and Minecraft. When he gets grounded and loses computer time he acts like the world is over. He knows how to do internet searches better than I do and I have 16 years experience over his little behind. There have been so many time where I have witnessed someone under the age of 24 being asked a question they should know the answer to and they have to look it up before they can answer. I had a full encyclopedia set not Google. The internet is breeding zombie children and so many people act like it is completely normal! At the first sign of Booger turning into a zombie I am throwing away all computers and will just have to do all my homework while I am at school!
Tuesday, June 11, 2013
I miss (and don't miss some of) the small things
There are some things that I miss from when Booger was younger, as many parents do. I always thought my parents were full of it when they said me and my brother were growing up to quick, but now that I am a mom I completely understand where my parents were coming from. In just 47 short days (yes I said short because it will go so fast) Booger will be 9 years old. NINE!! Omg! He will be 9! He will be in 4th grade in August, he is 6 years away from being old enough to get his learner permit. I am not ready for this!
So here is a list of things I miss from him being a witty bitty baby and a few things I dont!
So here is a list of things I miss from him being a witty bitty baby and a few things I dont!
- When Booger was an itty bitty widdle baby my favorite thing was to have him in bed with me when I took a nap. There were times when he was so tired he couldn't sleep and we made a game. Well, it was a game for him (at three months old) and just adorable for me! I noticed that every time I would blink Booger would blink. He would watch my face so intently and copy everything I was doing. So I would blink, he would blink, then as it went on I would keep my eyes closed a bit longer each time I blinked. After about 3 minutes Booger would be out like a light. It relaxed him so much that by the time he would hold his eyes closed for a couple seconds he would just fall asleep. I really miss being able to do that with him!
- First time he crawled.. for reals.. When he started crawling he was around 4 months old, he started early. But it was more of a bunny hop than an actual crawl. He would get on his hands and knees then maneuver his hands as far in from of him as her could then rock back and forth. After a few seconds of rocking back and forth he would get this look of determination on his face then shoot his knees forward as fast as he could. He would get this little grin on his face, try one more time, then poop out. This only lasted for about 3 weeks then he figured out how to crawl crawl and that was all it took. He was ALL OVER the house! Then he proved that he is as impatient as me because within another few weeks he was lifting himself up and trying to walk hanging onto things.
- His first steps. Like crawling he started a bit early. He was walking on his own around 7 1/2 or 8 months. He started at 5 1/2 months with holding onto furniture and making it two to four steps then falling on his butt. Instead of crying when he fell on his butt he would give the biggest belly laugh, look at you like "that was not cool," then get back up and try again. He upgraded from that to pushing his walker through the house and walking behind it, then walking next to it while holding on with one hand, to taking 6 steps without holding onto anything. He refused to give up and within a week and a half he was trying to run. Once Booger could walk at a brisk, chubby legged, stomping, pigeon toed, pace he was all over the house and always trying to get outside to run in the grass.
- Thankfully my brother didn't get his way with Boogers first word! From the time that Booger went from incoherent babbling to trying to make words my brother spent a lot of time trying to get 'boobies' to be Boogers first word. Every time he walked past Booger my brother would go-- "Say 'boobies'! You know you want to say 'boobies'! 'boooobbiiieeessss' 'boobies'! That never caught on, thank God! I would love to say that his first word was "Mommy" or even "Daddy" for that matter, even though his dad wouldn't have deserved it at that point. Sadly, though, Booger's first word was "no" and let me tell you.. he said it A LOT! No matter what you asked him, 'no.' No matter what you said to him, 'no.' You want to play outside-no. You want chocolate until you can't see straight-no. Do you love mommy-no. Are you funny-no. Why does your butt smell so bad when I just changed your diaper-no. Sumbitch! I just stubbed my toe on your swing-no. I heard no from him so much I was dreaming about the word 'no' dancing around my head.
- Potty training was not much of a struggle, but Booger had no interest in it at all! He hated the fold-able seat I had for when we were out, he hated the plush seat to go over the big seat, he hated the little potties you set on the floor. However, even though he hated them he would sit on them. He had no interest in pushing his pee-pee down and would pee on the front of the seat. He got better at it and would tell us when he had to go, he would sit and make sure his pee went IN the potty and not ON it. He was able to wear big boy pants during the day, but needed a pull-up at night because he slept so deeply he wouldn't wake up when he needed to go. I remember when he was around 3 1/2 his dads, best friends, son's mother (try saying that 5 times fast) was watching Booger, since we lived across the street from her she was our babysitter for a little bit, and on day he was just over there playing with her 5 year old son. As I am sitting outside I see him come walking across he street (very little traffic, maybe 5 cars in 30 minutes, and me or the other mom was always outside watching when he crossed) and he comes right up to me, looks me dead in the eyes, and says "I pee like big boy now! I not sit no more!" That was all it took, he peed standing up and never wet the bed at night again after that.
- I remember his first day of Pre-K like it was yesterday. He got to ride what he called "big boy bus" to Head Start. He was only gone for 4 hours, but it felt like forever when he was only 3 and 4. He would get on a bus, I would help strap him into the belts, give him a kiss, and watch the bus pull away with my baby praying he would come home safe. Booger LOVED it! He thought he was so big and grown up because he was on a bus. His last year of Pre-K he asked the driver to teach him how to put the belts on so he could do it himself. He told her "only babies need help wiff deez (that is how he said it)! He has always loved school and I think the positive start with Pre-K is the reason for that. Whenever he had problems with another kid his teacher was always there to help him. Booger would actually get mad on the weekends because he wouldn't have school. Any day he didn't have school he was a big grump. He still likes school but not like he did back then.
- Over night feedings! Who actually enjoys going to bed around 9 then waking up at 12am, 2am, 4am, 6am, then 8am? I loved holding him while he ate, and rocking him back to sleep, but I am not the easiest to wake up, by far! I got lucky, if you want to see it that way, with the fact that I was only 19 when I got pregnant with him and living at home. My dad worked the late shift and would be home from work by 4am and up till 6am on his off days. So on the nights where I was having a hard time functioning he would feed Booger and get him back to sleep for me.
- Screaming for no reason at all. Nothing is more pleasant to hear than a young child screaming bloody murder while their face turns red just because they are bored or not getting what they want. Happy he grew out of that one quick!
- Exorcist poop! Yeah I said it! There was one day where I had him in his crib, I put the side all the way down to change his diaper, and the SECOND I took his diaper off a stream of poo came out with such force it hit the wall on the other side of the room 10' away! Not only that, I had a nice trail going straight down my leg! I screamed, to keep from puking, and when my dad came in I just yelled "He pooped on me!" and my dad burst out laughing, to the point where I thought he was going to fall on the floor. Booger never peed on me, but he pooped on me quite a bit!
- A child getting shots is never an easy thing, unless you are lucky and have an easy going child. I am was not, and still am not, that lucky. For as long as I can remember Booger would freak out the second the nurse walked in with needles for his shots. When he was younger it was easy, I put him on my lap and held his arm/leg still while he got his shot. But the child felt the need to keep getting bigger which made it harder. At almost 9 years old he still freaks and I have to take my dad or his dad with me on shot day. It takes either dad or papaw, depending on who is with us, holding his legs down, me holding his arms down while trying to get him to focus on me, one nurse holding the arm that is getting the shot down along with me for reinforcement, and the nurse giving the shot trying to give him his shot as quick as possible without hurting him. Shots have never bothered me, I am not afraid of needles, and I will watch when I get a shot/tattoo/IV and used to give myself my allergy shots. It breaks my heart when its time for Booger to get a shot because I just know that he thinks I am the most horrible person in the world for letting people scare/hurt him like that!
Tuesday, May 21, 2013
Dear Ellen DeGeneres
May 21, 2013
Dear Ellen,
My
name is Tiana (like Diana) Smith and I am a 29 year old single mother of an amazing
9 (on July 29th) year old son. My son is my rock and my world. If it
wasn’t for my son I probably would have lost all sense of myself years ago. Anyways,
the reason I am writing is I want to find a way to help my dad. For the past
two years, almost two and a half, my dad has been letting me and my son live
with him. I haven’t been able to work pretty much the entire time that we have
been living here and I am going to school full time. So my dad is letting us
live here rent free. As long as I keep the apartment clean, which is rare,
and I do as well as I can in school he doesn’t mind letting us live here.
Before my dad let us
move in my son and I were stranded in Arizona. I had originally moved out there
August 2009 to get away from an abusive ex-boyfriend and went to live with an
aunt. My mom and son drove out 4 months later when my mom lost the house. What
we didn’t expect was for my aunt to be so much worse than my ex-boyfriend. My
aunt would call the cops on me every time she got mad at me. She threatened to
kick me to the curb 4 times before my mom and so moved in. She would tell my
son that everything bad that happened was my fault. She tried to talk my mom
into changing her will so that when my mom died my aunt would get custody
because I would “destroy every chance my son had at living a healthy and happy
life.” She would bully me, get in my face (like noses touching) and yell at me
over everything, she would tell me it was my sons fault every time her dogs
almost bit him, and she would tell me that I was worthless and would never
amount to anything.
On the
one year anniversary of me living with my aunt she was arrested for knocking my
mom flat on her behind and put my mom in the hospital. The next day we moved
into a homeless shelter. I got kicked out of the shelter a week and a half
later and lived on a friends couch for almost 2 weeks. My mom and son got
kicked out of the shelter a few days after me and found a second shelter. About
3 days after I found another DV shelter to go to my mom calls me, panicked,
because her and my son got kicked out of their shelter and they had nowhere to
go. My shelter allowed me to have my son with me (my mom had custody of my son
at this time) so he wasn’t on the street and my mom found a shelter for
herself. Two and a half months later my son and I were told that someone found
us at the shelter and threatened my life, so we had to find another shelter
again. My mom was at a new shelter by this point and talked them into making
room for me and my son. So we spent three months at the same shelter as my mom.
By this point we were no longer considered victims, our time was running out,
and we would have had to find a homeless shelter with room (there were none) or
sleep on the streets. My dad found out and told us to come home. That was March
21, 2011 and we have been with my dad since. My mom found a way home a few
months later.
It
originally was supposed to be a temporary thing, until I got my on my feet,
then about 9 months after moving in he said we could live with him until he was
no longer around to live with. If I have my way then my dad will live until my
son has lived a full life. My dad is more than willing to financially support
me and my son as much as he can, and I do my best not to ask for money. I try
living off of my food stamps, refund checks from college, and child support
(when I get it) from my ex-husband. I hate asking my dad for money. On top of
that he is still trying to help my mom out financially even though they have
been legally separated for 7 years and he tries to help his girlfriend as much
as he can.
Since living here my dad has missed work due
to a hernia repair surgery (last year) and being diagnosed with viral meningitis-encephalitis
(this year). His job is working him to the bone as well. He works every single
day, only getting every other Sunday, major holidays, and his few vacation days
off from work. His boss runs him ragged and refuses to hire another person that
knows how to do what my dad does. There are supposed to be, at minimum, two
people in my dad’s department, and his boss refuses to hire anyone else.
It hurts my dad just to
walk. He has had around 3 back surgeries, screws in his back, gallbladder surgery,
a back surgery that went through his neck, arthritis surgery and if the doctors
get their way they want to remove the entire bone in his thumb since his arthritis
came back so bad, and a hernia repair surgery. There might be more, I just don’t
remember them all. When I was younger and possible before I was born, the job
he had at the time was fixing/repairing pinball machines, cigarette machines,
pool tables, etc. and during one of the jobs, when he was in his 20s, he
actually fell down a flight of stairs and had the pinball machine fall on top
of him. A few years ago he slipped on the ice falling off the stoop at his
girlfriends and snapped the screws in his back (resulting in one of the
surgeries). I hate seeing my dad in this much pain and its 24/7. He wakes up in
pain and stays in pain even while sleeping. When he does get more than a day or
two off work in a row he gets sick. His body finally has time to relax and he
gets sick because he is no longer pushing his body to make it through work.
We can’t afford a
bigger apartment, without me being able to work, so my son and I are sharing a
bunk bed in one room. He doesn’t want to own a house because of the yard work
and financial responsibility for upkeep either. His van is close to dying on
us. It needs a new transmission, we haven’t had a working A/C in three years,
the driver’s seat has springs sticking out that rip and shred our pants, and
the gas gauge no longer works either. We won’t fix anything on the car because just
fixing either the transmission or A/C would end up costing more than buying a
decent used car. My dad doesn’t complain about it though. It gets us from point
A to point B still and that is what counts.
The only time my dad
really buys anything for himself is when he gets his Christmas bonus or his tax
return. I would love to see my dad be able to take more time off work, get his
health under control, or even take a vacation. It kills me that I can’t find
work because I don’t drive or have my own car. Plus going to school and not
being able to afford a babysitter makes it very hard to help out financially. I
know people out there have it much worse than us and deserve help more than us
but I just want to help my dad. My dad has been so amazing to me and my son and
I pray that one day he can retire. He needs it not only mentally but physically
as well. I am a major daddy’s girl and it kills me to see him like this. Every
time he gets sick I take care of him. Taking care of him when he is sick is
easy, make him lay down as much as I can, keep fluids in him, and make him soup
when he is hungry. Taking care of him when he is in so much physical pain is
harder. I can’t do anything except make sure he goes to the doctor when it gets
so bad he can’t take it.
I just want to help and
I don’t know how to help so I am reaching out to you. God Bless you and keep up
the amazing work.
Much love,
Tiana Smith
https://www.facebook.com/tianasmith1984
Monday, May 20, 2013
What age is the right age
This may or may not be the start of a series where I ask "what age is the right age"
One of the harder questions for me, currently, as a parent is figuring out when my son is old enough to be home alone for a certain amount of time. He is just a couple months away from being 9 and when I was his age (1993) my parents would let me and my younger brother, he was 8, stay home alone while they went to the grocery store. The store was only 10 minutes from our apartment, we were never alone more than 2 hours, and even though we didn't know it every single adult in the building was keeping a secret eye on us. To me and my brother, though, we thought we were hot stuff because we were home alone for up to 2 hours.
Then there were the times where we would go home after school, have about an hour or so until our mom got home from work, and our dad wouldn't be home until around 6 or 7 depending on the jobs he had to do. So we got a little more home alone time after school on the days our mom had to work. We never knew we were not truly alone, our parents very rarely told us that our neighbors were keeping an eye out for us. It meant a lot to us that our parents trusted us. The older we got the more alone time we got in the apartment. For the most part nothing every happened. I mean, there would be a few sibling squabbles, but we were only 19mo apart so they happened more than if there was a drastic age difference. If our parents knew they were going to be gone longer than the normal 2 hours we would normally have a neighbor knock on our door after 2 hours to make sure were hadn't killed each other or trashed the apartment.
This was the early 90s for crying out loud. It was a hell of a lot safer than it is now. The only time our parents really regretted leaving us home alone was when my brother decided he was pissed at me, we were 11 and 12is this time, and he locked me out of the apartment. He not only locked the door knob, but he locked the dead bolt too. He refused to answer the door no matter how much I yelled or pounded on the door. Then my genius ass remember the whole 3 weeks of karate I took before I got kicked out for Chuck Norris-ing some kid in the gut. So I stepped back, took my stance, and side kicked the door as hard as I could. Lo and behold the door opened! The door was also broke. I did not break the wood of the door, nor did I do any damage to the door frame. I am still amazed at that. What I did however, was kick the door so hard it completely jammed the dead bolt in a locked position. Thus resulting in the landlord having to be called, along with our parents, to explain what happened to the door to get it fixed. Needless to say, it took my parents a while to trust us alone for more than 30 minutes for a while.
So this brings me back to my original question. In 2013, knowing how much the world has changed in 20 years, when is the right age for your child to be trusted with an hour or two of being home alone? I have had people ask me why I don't allow my son to be home alone while I go to the store or go to the end of the block to the pony keg and I just tell them that mentally and emotionally I do not think my son can handle it. There are, however, times during the weekend where I will run to the store, leaving my son there, but my dad is asleep in his room. So my son is not alone alone. There is a grown adult just feet away that he can wake up if anything happens. I know my son won't answer the door when someone knocks on it, and we don't have a home phone so I don't have to worry about that, but if my dad was not there I don't think he could handle it. If he is on the computer and I tell him I am stepping outside, but he doesn't register I said it, he freaks the hell out when he finally notices that I am not in the apartment. I won't even let him walk the .5 mile to school by himself. He is too easily distracted and even though its practically a straight line to his school, he will still somehow manage to get his ass lost.
So for me, personally, my son may not be able to stay home alone until he is 10, or 11, or even 12. It all depends on the maturity level of the child, how well they listen to what their parents teach them, and whether or not there is enough trust within the child themselves to handle not having an adult around 24/7. Some kids may be able to handle that now, but my son can not. So I ask you, when did your start leaving your kids home alone or when do you plan on it, for those with younger kids? How old were you when your parents started leaving you home alone?
One of the harder questions for me, currently, as a parent is figuring out when my son is old enough to be home alone for a certain amount of time. He is just a couple months away from being 9 and when I was his age (1993) my parents would let me and my younger brother, he was 8, stay home alone while they went to the grocery store. The store was only 10 minutes from our apartment, we were never alone more than 2 hours, and even though we didn't know it every single adult in the building was keeping a secret eye on us. To me and my brother, though, we thought we were hot stuff because we were home alone for up to 2 hours.
Then there were the times where we would go home after school, have about an hour or so until our mom got home from work, and our dad wouldn't be home until around 6 or 7 depending on the jobs he had to do. So we got a little more home alone time after school on the days our mom had to work. We never knew we were not truly alone, our parents very rarely told us that our neighbors were keeping an eye out for us. It meant a lot to us that our parents trusted us. The older we got the more alone time we got in the apartment. For the most part nothing every happened. I mean, there would be a few sibling squabbles, but we were only 19mo apart so they happened more than if there was a drastic age difference. If our parents knew they were going to be gone longer than the normal 2 hours we would normally have a neighbor knock on our door after 2 hours to make sure were hadn't killed each other or trashed the apartment.
This was the early 90s for crying out loud. It was a hell of a lot safer than it is now. The only time our parents really regretted leaving us home alone was when my brother decided he was pissed at me, we were 11 and 12is this time, and he locked me out of the apartment. He not only locked the door knob, but he locked the dead bolt too. He refused to answer the door no matter how much I yelled or pounded on the door. Then my genius ass remember the whole 3 weeks of karate I took before I got kicked out for Chuck Norris-ing some kid in the gut. So I stepped back, took my stance, and side kicked the door as hard as I could. Lo and behold the door opened! The door was also broke. I did not break the wood of the door, nor did I do any damage to the door frame. I am still amazed at that. What I did however, was kick the door so hard it completely jammed the dead bolt in a locked position. Thus resulting in the landlord having to be called, along with our parents, to explain what happened to the door to get it fixed. Needless to say, it took my parents a while to trust us alone for more than 30 minutes for a while.
So this brings me back to my original question. In 2013, knowing how much the world has changed in 20 years, when is the right age for your child to be trusted with an hour or two of being home alone? I have had people ask me why I don't allow my son to be home alone while I go to the store or go to the end of the block to the pony keg and I just tell them that mentally and emotionally I do not think my son can handle it. There are, however, times during the weekend where I will run to the store, leaving my son there, but my dad is asleep in his room. So my son is not alone alone. There is a grown adult just feet away that he can wake up if anything happens. I know my son won't answer the door when someone knocks on it, and we don't have a home phone so I don't have to worry about that, but if my dad was not there I don't think he could handle it. If he is on the computer and I tell him I am stepping outside, but he doesn't register I said it, he freaks the hell out when he finally notices that I am not in the apartment. I won't even let him walk the .5 mile to school by himself. He is too easily distracted and even though its practically a straight line to his school, he will still somehow manage to get his ass lost.
So for me, personally, my son may not be able to stay home alone until he is 10, or 11, or even 12. It all depends on the maturity level of the child, how well they listen to what their parents teach them, and whether or not there is enough trust within the child themselves to handle not having an adult around 24/7. Some kids may be able to handle that now, but my son can not. So I ask you, when did your start leaving your kids home alone or when do you plan on it, for those with younger kids? How old were you when your parents started leaving you home alone?
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