Tuesday, July 9, 2013

What I have learned so far having an ADHD/ODD child

There are some changes that I have noticed with Booger since he was diagnosed with ADHD/ODD roughly a year ago. I am not a fan of most of the changes even though I know he really has no control over them. I see how hard Booger is working at doing the absolute best he can, but if it was not for his therapy and medication things would still be the nightmare they were 2-3 years ago. I know one day he will be able to handle everything sans medication and that would be a day for major celebration. If you do not have a child that is ADHD or ODD, or even know an ODD child then you will probably think that I am letting my son get away with murder, but until you live with it or know someone living with it you will never truly understand what I go through on a daily basis.

He no longer likes loud noises. In fact he tends to freak out when he hears loud noises. I used to be able to take him to parades when he was younger. Now if I take him to a parade, the second the marching band walks past he starts covering his ears, screaming, crying, and begging to go home. I have not seen a parade in three years. The same goes for fire works. I think last year (2012) was the last year that we were able to sit through an entire showing of fireworks. The year before that we had to go about 2 blocks away and watch them between houses, with Booger sitting in the car with the door closed. I can't even run the vacuum in the same room as him because he will curl into a ball and cry while covering his ears until I turn it off. I have to tell him to leave the room just to vacuum.

His tastes are changing and he hates trying new things. My child used to be a bottomless pit when it came to food. If my dad or my brother ate it, Booger ate it. Now we are down to Booger only eating about 7 things and maybe, just MAYBE, he will try something new. Booger will only try something new if it is his idea. If you ask him to try it he slaps his hand over his mouth and starts backing away from the table. His Occupational Therapist (OT) has even tried to get him to try new foods. They also have to be prepared a certain way or I just wasted the food.

Punishments are more a punishment for me than they are Booger. It used to be when he was younger all I had to do was put his butt in a chair for a few minutes and we were good the rest of the day. Now when he has a melt down (thank God they are not violent anymore) I am the one that ends up getting punished more than him. Booger will scream and cry, while pleading and begging, that he doesn't get grounded so long that I can't get anything done. If I leave him alone in the room the destroys the room and injures himself in the process. Two years ago he actually put a dent in the wall from hitting it so hard with his head. I spent 10 minutes yesterday just trying to pry the Wii remote out of his hands with his screaming "Im sorry" so I could get him to sleep.

I can have him look me in the eyes while I talk, then repeat back exactly what I just said and he will still forget what I said the second he stops repeating it. He has no attention span and unless it has to do with something he has a serious interest in he couldn't give two shits less about retaining the information. If it has to do with World of Warcraft, Minecraft, Skylanders Giants, etc he can tell you every single thing about the games because he will sit and research the hell out of the games. Tell him to turn the light out as he walks past the switch I am repeating myself over and over with him looking at me like I am speaking a foreign language.

I swear its selective, even though I know it really isn't. At school he is fine. With my brother he is fine. When my dad is around he is fine. With me its like there is no filter for his actions if he is off his medication. He will go full force with me. Then when its over and he is back to normal, it is then that he finally knows what he did and feels a horrible amount of remorse. In the past year Booger went from being on the verge of an attack almost daily to only being that way when he is so far beyond tired he should have been asleep yesterday. It has been a roller coaster of emotions and a learning experience, but the biggest thing I have learned is I need to reconsider everything I thought was right when it came to parenting. So Starting to today I am challenging myself to not raise my voice or yell for a whole month. I want to see what difference that makes with not only Booger but with myself as well. We shall see what happens!

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