I have been dealing with quite a bit lately and it is stressing me out more than I ever thought it would. For the first time in my life I have circles under my eyes. I never thought being in college was stressful until I started with the school I am in now. Normally when I went to school I had my mom to watch my son so I could do my homework and had a 4 hour round trip Metro ride. This time I am out of school by Noon, doing my errands, coming home for an hour before I pick up my son from school, and doing homework while my son's ADHD medication wears off. I am doing 13 credit hours right now as well. I have to prep a speech every week, doing English reading for a test the next day, do my math work, and study psychology. Sounds easy enough. Yet, I can't find any energy and I am stressed to the max. Next semester is going to be a heavier load with two of my classes online.
On top of that, a 'friend' of 15 years decided to flush our friendship down the toilet so she could make herself feel better about the crap going on in her life. She felt that it was necessary to spread lies about me on her Facebook page and bad mouth me to anyone who would listen. This time was different though because she was giving people my name. I feel free since deciding that I was no longer invested in the friendship though. But dealing with it the day it happened was really hard. I never really had many people I could call my friend but I feel more alone now than I ever have.
My son, with a whole 8 1/2 years of life behind him, has informed me once or twice that there are days he really doesn't like his life. How do you handle something like that when your kid says it? I know his life is not what he would like it to be. He rarely sees his dad, he has ADHD and can tell a major difference in himself when he is on medication and when he isn't. He has habits he wants to quit but doesn't know how, such as hitting himself or being able to be quiet for longer than 45 seconds when I ask him to be quiet so I can attempt to do homework. I can't afford to get him the things that he sees his friends enjoying or take him on trips/vacation like his friends get to go on. I would love to be able to wave a magic wand and give him everything he wants and take him everywhere he wants to go, but I can't. I don't expect him to understand that at his age, but I try to make things fun when I can.
I know things could be worse, and have been worse. But I am having a hard time finding energy and not feeling stressed to the max. I just have to keep reminding myself that things will get better. Things will start to seem easier. I will be able to do the things I would like to do. I just have to take everything one day at a time. I just wish the days didn't feel like they were 48 hours long.
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